Wednesday, November 28, 2012

How to make a great first Impression

7 Seconds to Sell Yourself

Six Wrong Ways to Make a Right First Impression

Making a Great First Impression


Getting off to a Good Start


With every new encounter, you are evaluated and yet another person's impression of you is formed. These first impression can be nearly impossible to reverse or undo, making those first encounters extremely important, for they set the tone for all the relationships that follows.It takes just a quick glance, maybe three seconds, for someone to evaluate you when you meet for the first time. In this short time, the other person forms an opinion about you based on your appearance, your body language, your demeanor, your mannerisms, and how you are dressed.
So, whether they are in your career or social life, it's important to know how to create a good first impression. This article provides some useful tips to help you do this.

Be on Time

Someone you are meeting for the first time is not interested in your "good excuse" for running late. Plan to arrive a few minutes early. And allow flexibility for possible delays in traffic or taking a wrong turn. Arriving early is much better that arriving late, hands down, and is the first step in creating a great first impression.

Be Yourself, Be at Ease

If you are feeling uncomfortable and on edge, this can make the other person ill at ease and that's a sure way to create the wrong impression. If you are calm and confident, so the other person will feel more at ease, and so have a solid foundation for making that first impression a good one. See our section on relaxation techniques to find out how to calm that adrenaline!

Present Yourself Appropriately

Of course physical appearance matters. The person you are meeting for the first time does not know you and your appearance is usually the first clue he or she has to go on.
But it certainly does not mean you need to look like a model to create a strong and positive first impression. (Unless you are interviewing with your local model agency, of course!)
No. The key to a good impression is to present yourself appropriately.
They say a picture is worth a thousand words, and so the "picture" you first present says much about you to the person you are meeting. Is your appearance saying the right things to help create the right first impression?
Start with the way you dress. What is the appropriate dress for the meeting or occasion? In a business setting, what is the appropriate business attire? Suit, blazer, casual? And ask yourself what the person you'll be meeting is likely to wear – if your contact is in advertising or the music industry, a pinstripe business suit may not strike the right note!
For business and social meetings, appropriate dress also varies between countries and cultures, so it's something that you should pay particular attention to when in an unfamiliar setting or country. Make sure you know the traditions and norms.
And what about your grooming? Clean and tidy appearance is appropriate for most business and social occasions. A good haircut or shave. Clean and tidy clothes. Neat and tidy make up. Make sure your grooming is appropriate and helps make you feel "the part".
Appropriate dressing and grooming help make a good first impression and also help you feel "the part," and so feel more calm and confident. Add all of this up and you are well on your way to creating a good first impression.

A Word About Individuality

The good news is you can usually create a good impression without total conformity or losing your individuality. Yes, to make a good first impression you do need to "fit in" to some degree. But it all goes back to being appropriate for the situation. If in a business setting, wear appropriate business attire. If at a formal evening social event, wear appropriate evening attire. And express your individuality appropriately within that context.

A Winning Smile!

As the saying goes, "Smile and the world smiles too." So there's nothing like a smile to create a good first impression. A warm and confident smile will put both you and the other person at ease. So smiling is a winner when it comes to great first impressions. But don't go overboard with this – people who take this too far can seem insincere and smarmy, or can be seen to be "lightweights".

Be Open and Confident

When it comes to making the first impression, body language as well as appearance speaks much louder than words.
Use your body language to project appropriate confidence and self-assurance. Stand tall, smile (of course), make eye contact, greet with a firm handshake. All of this will help you project confidence and encourage both you and the other person to feel better at ease.
Almost everyone gets a little nervous when meeting someone for the first time, which can lead to nervous habits or sweaty palms. By being aware of your nervous habits, you can try to keep them in check. And controlling a nervous jitter or a nervous laugh will give you confidence and help the other person feel at ease. Again, see our section on relaxation techniques for help with this.

Small Talk Goes a Long Way

Conversations are based on verbal give and take. It may help you to prepare questions you have for the person you are meeting for the first time beforehand. Or, take a few minutes to learn something about the person you meet for the first time before you get together. For instance, does he play golf? Does she work with a local charitable foundation?
Is there anything that you know of that you have in common with the person you are meeting? If so, this can be a great way to open the conversation and to keep it flowing.

Be Positive

Your attitude shows through in everything you do. Project a positive attitude, even in the face of criticism or in the case of nervousness. Strive to learn from your meeting and to contribute appropriately, maintaining an upbeat manner and a smile.

Be Courteous and Attentive

It goes without saying that good manners and polite, attentive and courteous behavior help make a good first impression. In fact, anything less can ruin the one chance you have at making that first impression. So be on your best behavior!
One modern manner worth mentioning is "turn off your mobile phone." What first impression will you create if you are already speaking to someone other than the person you are meeting for the first time? Your new acquaintance deserves 100 percent of your attention. Anything less and you'll create a less than good first impression.
http://www.mindtools.com/CommSkll/FirstImpressions.htm

Key Points

You have just a few seconds to make a good first impression and it's almost impossible ever to change it. So it's worth giving each new encounter your best shot.
Much of what you need to do to make a good impression is common sense. But with a little extra thought and preparation, you can hone your intuitive style and make every first impression not just good but great.

Friday, November 23, 2012

Nick Vujicic - "Something More" Music Video

http://www.youtube.com

The most inspirational video you will ever see Nick Vujicic

No arms, no legs - no worries! Nick Vujicic uses his story to inspire and inform people all around the world. Don't let this life changing message pass you by.
http://www.youtube.com

Motivational video "Change your mind in just 2.50 mins"


 http://www.youtube.com

Think different


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A Must See Motivational Video!


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20 IDEAS I WISH I WAS TOLD WHEN I WAS 20


Success seems to be an elusive treasure for many. There are some many ways to attain it yet most of us get caught up trying to figure it all out ourselves. This leads toa great deal of lost time to gain the "experience" needed to be successful. Looking back, I wish someone had put together a list of hard facts that were true in life. Since it was not done for me, I would like to share my list of success "truths".

1.Success is easier with a team:

Success is not created in a vacuum. It takes the efforts of many people to make one achieve anything great. The most successful people have partners, coaches, teammates, and co-workers who all have a hand in the final outcome. Also, our the level of success that is possible increase substantially when we enlist the abilities and efforts of others. As Marc Victor Hanson likes to say "one plus one is an eleven folding of talent". Create a team with the best people that you can.

2.Opportunities are everywhere:

Everywhere there is a problem, there is an opportunity. The world is full of challenges that are waiting to be solved. As we proceed forward, now obstacles are created daily. Huge fortunes are being made by people taking the initiative to solve these problems. Society needs someone to build a better "mousetrap" and that person is you. Look for the opportunities in your life that are offered to you.

3.You get more in life by saying "yes" than by saying "no":

This is one of Richard Branson's sayings. Fear is a powerful influence in life. It causes us to make decisions that are not always in our best interest. Often we turn down opportunities which will raise our lives to a new level. Saying "yes" to life allows us to engage in the wonders of it. There is more that is gained by going forward then by standing still. Certainly we will lose at times. But overcoming the fear of loss is what will set us free. Begin to say "yes" to the opportunities that are presented in your life.

4.Like attracts like:

Physics talks about energy on the same frequency being attracted to similar energy. This is true for our outlook. Positive attitudes garner positive results. Negative attitudes create gets the same outcome. To get more positive results in life, spend more time with a positive attitude. This will attract the desired results into your life.

5.The path to success is already laid out:

Reinventing the wheel is a waste of time. Unlike we were taught in school, copying is a good thing. People have already paved the road to success. Simply learn the actions and procedures they took while following suit. Every industry has a model that sets the process for achievement. Life becomes much simpler when that is uncovered.

6.Have fun:

It is easy to get caught up in all that we have to do. Responsibilities mount the more success we achieve. It is important to have fun at every stage of life. Too often people delay their joy until they arrive at a specific destination. Taking the time for ourselves is crucial as holistic selves. Lighten up and take things a little less seriously.

7.Work smarter, not harder:

Digging ditches is hard work yet it is not a well compensated trade. The world pays more for mental power than it does physical. Try to determine ways to systematize the things you need to do to free up yourself. The nobility is in working smarter, not harder.

8.Things do not equal happiness:

The richest are not always the happiest. The accumulation of things is wonderful. However, it is imperative that we keep in mind what is important. The happiness that "things" give us is temporary. Happiness is a state that comes from within us; it rarely comes from the outside.

9.Who cares about the Joneses:

How much time do we spend trying to "keep up with the Joneses"? Our egos are often tied to the opinion of others. Be your own person. Ignore what others think about you. It is best to pursue endeavors which fulfill us. Too many attend to those things that other people want them to. Live your life according to how you see fit.

10.There is always something to be grateful for:

No matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something to be grateful for. Gratitude is a wonderful tool for getting us out of the doldrums. Looking at the positive aspect of situations will always help bring the undesirable effects to an end quicker. Remember, there is always someone else who is worse off than you.

11.Everyone has their time in the "barrel":

To listen to people talk, you would think that they were the only ones with problems. The truth is that everyone has circumstances which they go through that are not pleasant. Illness, financial difficulty, and death affect most people at different stages of their lives. Resist the temptation to think that you are special in this regard. When negative circumstances arise, move forward knowing others are succeeding in dealing with similar issues.

12.Plan you life and live you plan:

I love the analogy to taking a trip across country without a road map. This is something that most would never consider doing. Yet almost all will approach their life without a forethought to where they would like to go. In fact, people spend more time planning their vacations than they do to plan their lives. Studies have shown that individuals who set down goals with a written plan for their achievement attain a far greater degree of success than those who fail to do so.

13.Failure is our best teacher:

Failure is a tough thing to go through. However, it can be our most beneficial experience. Successful people all seem to have had their share of failures. It is the lessons from these situation which makes them so valuable. Take the time to analyze why things turned out how they did and resolve not to make the same mistake. This is where life prepares us for the next challenge.

14.Most people are willing to help:

We feel we need to do it all on our own. This stems from the belief that most people don't care. The truth is that most people are willing to help wherever they can. People, at their basic core, are nice. They want to contribute. It makes us feel good to help another. Rid yourself of the desire to do it all on your own and ask others for help. You will be surprised at the warm response you get.

15.The starting point is irrelevant:

There are hundreds of stories of people who started from the worst circumstances only to achieve greatness. Individuals who blame their surroundings for their lack of success are using this as a crutch. There are opportunities in all areas of life for those who are willing to go after them. It is where you are going that is important, not where you start from.

16.Everything starts as a thought:

There is nothing that mankind has made in this world that did not start as an idea in someone's head. Everyday, we each have ideas which are mostly dismissed. Capturing one of those ideas can change how the world operates. Also, having the right mindset will do more to ensure our success than any other attribute. Pay attention to what takes place within your own head.

17.We all have more talents than we can uncover:

Everyone on this planet is created with an incredible amount of ability. Yet we often believe that we "can't do anything right". This is negative conditioning allowed to ruin our lives. There is an unbelievable skill within you at this present moment. Beginning to say "yes" to opportunities in life will uncover what those talents are. Often we do not realize what we are capable of until we are forced into a tough situation.

18.Everything is perspective:

Even though you will swear it to be the truth, it is really only your perspective. Our viewpoint is usually what determines how we process things. Is the glass half full or half empty? Both answers are correct, depending on your perspective. Remember this whenever you are determined to make yourself right and someone else wrong.

19.Tap into your true self:

Some call it passion, others life purpose. Whatever the term, there is something in life that only you can perform. Spend some time seeking out what it is. All greatness comes from this place. Do not worry about the financial compensation. People who tap into their true essence while releasing their talents on the world are well paid. Find out what it is and follow it.

20.You can make a huge difference:

There is no limit to the impact that you can have. Many of the greatest figures in history were from the humblest of beginnings. They were average people who took extraordinary action when called upon. You can do the same thing. The ideas that you have right now can impact thousands, if not, millions of lives. Begin to accept this as your reality.

Here is the list of ideas which I feel will lead anyone to success. See how many you can implement into your life on a daily basis. People who have done so report an incredible increase in their success, happiness, productivity, and freedom.
Article Source: http://www.articleset.com

10 Tips for Improving Self Esteem

How to Build Your Self Confidence

Self Esteem Quotes & Quotations

Self-Esteem - Your Inner Compass


To have good or poor self-esteem is probably the most crucial factor in determining what you will achieve in life.

A good self-esteem is just as fundamental to feel good and feel safe in life, as attending school every day is to learn to read and write is.

Why is it so important to have self-esteem? You can have the best education, job and background, but feel as though that you fail in everything you do. If our self-esteem is not good, we are automatically drawn to people and situations that confirm what we think about ourselves. It will be make it impossible to have balance in life, wherever you are in life in terms of career, family, etc.

You have probably seen it again and again, where you see someone you think has everything, but is still drinking, taking drugs, eating or working themselves to death. Their external success shows all the glory, but their poor self-esteem is killing the person slowly and effectively from the inside.

No doctor, psychologist or pills can save that person from a destructive life, until he starts to take hold of working on his self-esteem. It goes without saying that the temporary measures to solve things on the surface are being utilized, but without balance within, there will be no lasting results. Look at all successful businessmen / women, musicians, athletes who have all the money in the world, but still can not get any balance in life.

What caused this? One reason is all the demands from society that we as individuals, need to be fit in. If you look closer at this, parents have very few rights, as to how a child is formed during his or her upbringing. There are doctors, teachers, government agencies, newspapers, neighbors, etc., which put different demands on how the child should be and act. That means that all the good self-esteem that the child is born with, disappears and is soon gone forever.

No wonder that so many children, teenagers and adults have challenges with their identity, which then shows itself as different types of problems within society. The importance of us all having the same down jacket, appearance, and knowledge, for example, makes many people's self-esteem ruined for ever.

The key is to let the child develop as much as possible, without being placed in the position of caring what others think is right and wrong. The child's unique talents then come forth and the person becomes a strong individual who does what they want in life, rather than to live a life where they have to fit into society.

If you already have poor self-esteem, there are measures you can do. Here are five tips:

1. Make sure you do what you want with your life
2. Do not get stuck thinking that you have to be good enough in front of others
3. Realize that you are good enough, regardless of what others think about you
4. Dare to do and be different
5. Do not let anyone insult you. Remember that we often insult ourselves

Good Luck!

Hans Thorn, Success Coach

http://www.personalcoachingonline.com

Article Source: http://www.articleset.com

CAN YOU CULTIVATE AND BUILD LEADERS?

By Gary F.Eby

John C. Maxwell once said, “A leader is one who knows the way … goes the way … and shows the way.”Powerful leaders … promote leaders .. they don’t just maintain followers. Powerful leaders not only mentally assent to knowing the way …they actually go the right way. And true leaders who have learned this in LifeTraining, then show the way to others. 

They duplicate themselves. 

Let’s make sure you understand this. I’ll say it again differently. ‘The “mediocre” teacher tells. The “good” teacher explains. The “superior” teacher demonstrates. The “great” teacher inspires.”Your job is to find people that want to win through Life Training! They have the desire and are willing to change. It does not matter how much you want it for them … they have to want it for themselves! Jesus said to not throw your pearls before swine.

Mark Twain put it this way, ”Never try to teach a pig to sing. It just wastes your time and annoys the pig.”Remember when we were children and we played follow the leader. The object was to try your very best to do something the others could not do. You would try to climb higher … leap farther … move quicker … anything to make your followers fail. That was the object of the game.

Part of me believes that some modern day leaders have been to the “follow the leader 101” class. They seem intent on performing in such a way that others could not duplicate. How can you build leaders by continually putting them in situations where they fail! A powerful leader does everything in his or her power to build other powerful leaders, just as he was build during the stages of Life Training.

I call it the difference between addition and multiplication. Let’s pick a number … say 5. 5 plus 5 is 10 … plus 5 is 15 … plus 5 is 20 … plus 5 is 25. That is 5 steps.Now, bare with me … let’s do the same process again with multiplication. 5 times 5 is 25 … times 5 is 125 … times 5 is 625 … times 5 is 3125 … times 5 is 15,625!What a difference! Just going 5 steps with addition … we grew to 25. With multiplication we grew to 15,625.

What if that was customers …. 25 customers vs.15,625 customers? Would that change your business? What if that was dollars. 25 dollars vs.15,625 dollars? Would that change your bank balance? What if that was team members … 25 team members vs. 15,625 team members?

Would that change your future?You see … that’s the difference between addition and multiplication. That is the difference between you being the only leader verses you building other leaders and duplicating your power! When your build others to be as strong as yourself … or duplicate yourself … you will exponentially benefit.

To build people you need to realize that it takes building blocks. Let’s look at a few of these building blocks.Mary Kay Ash, founder of Mary Kay Cosmetics said this … and remember she raised herself from obscurity to world wide prominence by building others …

Mary Kay said … ‘There are two things people want more than sex and money … praise and recognition.”These are awesome building blocks. According to the U.S. Department of Labor … 46% of those who quit their jobs last year did so because they felt unappreciated. People want to be recognized!

Do you know how many cheerleaders it takes to change a light bulb? The answer? Ten. One to do it, 9 to hug her when she is finished! They understand recognition!

Don’t be like the old gal who did not understand encouragement at all! Her husband was going on stage to speak for the first time. His wife decided to offer him some advice. She said, ”Don’t try to be charming, witty or intellectual. Just be yourself.” Duh! Some people just don’t know how to be an encourager!

History tells us that a lot of people have gone a lot farther than they thought they could … because someone else thought they could. That is powerful Leadership.

Henry Ford once said … “I am looking for a lot of men who have an infinite capacity to not know what can’t be done.”Don’t wait until someone becomes discouraged before you decide to encourage them!
This means you will have to be proactive … not reactive. When I teach a sales training class … one of the most fundamental sessions is on answering objections. I ask people … “What is the best way to answer an objection?” The answer … Before it comes up!

So, what’s the best way to fight off discouragement… before it comes up. Be proactive!The first step in being a leader is to start thinking, acting and talking like one. Build people by illustrating action.

Lead by example!Norman Schwarzkopf, a great military leader, once said … “Leadership is a potent combination of strategy and character. But if you must be without one, be without the strategy.”He knew how to build leaders … you had to act like one! 

Donald H. McGannon said this … “Leadership is action, not position.” without works is dead.
Action! When you go into action as a leader it causes people to want to follow!The best way to cultivate and build leaders during your Life Training… is to be one.

Article Source: http://www.articleset.com

Personality Development Skills Chapter 02 - Leadership Skills

Personality Development Skills

Personality Development

PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT

Personality is the sum total of ways in which an individual reacts and interacts with others. Or Personality is generally defined as the deeply ingrained and relatively enduring patterns of thought, feeling and behavior. In fact, when one refers to personality, it generally implies to all what is unique about an individual, the characteristics that makes one stand out in a crowd.
 
Personalities is the sum total of individual’s Psychological traits, characteristics, motives, habits, attitudes, beliefs and outlooks.
 
Personality determinants :
 
Heredity : Heredity refers to those factors that were determined at conception. Physical structure, facial attractiveness, gender, temperament, muscle composition and reflexes, energy level, and biological rhythms are characteristics that are generally considered to be either completely or substantially influenced by who your parents were, that is by their biological, physiological and inherent psychological make up.

Environment : The environmental factors that exert pressures on our personality formation are the culture in which we are raised, our early conditioning, the norms among our family, friends and social groups, and other influences that we experience. The environment to which we are exposed plays a substantial role in shaping our personalities.

Situation : A third factor, the situation, influences the effects of heredity and environment on personality. An individual’s personality although generally stable and consistent, does change in different situations. The varying demand of different situation calls forth different aspects of one’s personality. We should not therefore look upon personality patterns in isolation.

DEVELOPING POSITIVE PERSONALITY
 
1. Subconscious Programming :
Most of us sometimes get programmed / conditioned by a wrong messages that “ donot do that”, “don’t take the risk”, “you can not do that” you are not good in …and so on…..
You can imagine the bad effect such message can have on any person.
Fig- I : Subconscious Mind Programming Our Conscious Mind is like a watch man. And the Subconscious Mind is a store of all the previously programmed or conditioned information / knowledge/ believes. Now programming personality means putting positive believes/ information into the store with out the knowledge of the watchman (conscious mind).

Suppose you tell yourself that “you are good at Public Speaking”. And the store has stored based on peoples comments and experience that “you are poor in communication” “you can not speak well in public”, “you don’t have an impressive body language” …..
The watch man sees your sentence and compares it with the knowledge in its store and says “this information is wrong”. The watchman throws the new information away. He does not allow the new positive information into the store. This is the fundamental difficulty in changing personality & behavior of a person.

Now the question is how and when we could programme our mind for positive personality trait with out the obstruction of watchman…
 
The answer is we can programme our mind for positive personality traits during the Twilight period just before sleeping and just before waking up. This is the time when the conscious mind is active enough to generate the positive traits for entering into store but inactive to judge/compare and will not obstruct to the positive traits to enter into the subconscious store house.
 
2. Reinforced Programming / Conscious Programming :
Autosuggestion and Repetition of the positive traits despite negative response from comparison with the store house also gives success in programming for personality traits.

Auto-suggestion is a statement made in the present tense, of the kind of person you want to be. Auto-suggestion are like a commercial about “Super You”, or “Future Super You” for yourself what you want to be or achieve. They influence both your conscious and subconscious mind in the long run shaping your personality and attitude.

Auto-suggestions are the conscious way to programme the subconscious mind for positive traits. It is the effective method of voluntary development of positive traits and attitudes.

Auto-suggestion should be mixed with emotions. All such reinforced / conscious programming which have been emotionalized (giving feeling) and mixed with applied faith, begin immediately to translate themselves into physical or real equivalent.

Auto-suggestive thoughts which are mixed with any of the feeling of emotions constitute a “psycho-magnetic” force which attracts other similar or related thoughts.

Our subconscious mind resembling a fertile garden spot, in which weeds will grow in abundance if you the seeds of more desirable crops are not sown therein. Auto-suggestion is the agency of control through which an individual can voluntarily feed his subconscious mind on thoughts of creative/ positive nature or by neglect permit thoughts of a destructive nature to find their way into the rich garden of mind. So Caution should be taken while programming your mind for positive traits only.


3. Defensive Approach :

One of this type of approach is protest or deny the negative traits at it’s very beginning of the entering in the subconscious store. And the second is to consciously avoid this type of environment or situation. In real life situation it is very difficult because it may lead to confrontation and argument or Inaction.

Another problem in this is that most of us have some negative traits previously in our store house due to our past experience and conditioning.

4. Imaginary Anchoring or Invisible Counseling Committee :

While watching a picture we anchor the Hero, placing ourselves in place of hero. Similarly we can anchor Great men in imagination and let them shape our personality.

Another is the Invisible Counseling Committee comprising of great personalities of your choice. We can counsel from these great minds at times or situation. What decision or action he would have been taken in my situation..

Winston Churchill the war time British Prime Minister was following this principle. He had his Imaginary Counseling Committee by the side of his Chamber. Many great decisions he used to take by following these principles.

I follow the habit of reshaping my Character by trying to imitate some great personalities whose lives and life works have been most impressive to me. These personalities are Mahatma Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Abraham Lincoln, Napoleon Bonaparte, Albert Einstein, Shiva Khera, Napoleon Hills & Bill Gates. I held an imaginary council meeting with this group whom I called my “Invisible Counselor”. In these imaginary council meeting I called on my cabinet members for the knowledge I wished each to contribute addressing myself to each members in audible words as follows :

Mahatma Gandhi, I desire to acquire from you the ideology of truth and Non-violence and devotion towards practicing these in every odd hours and to acquire the magnet leadership to attract millions to join in the peaceful struggle for freedom and Humanity.

Mother Teresa, I desire to acquire from you the ability to provide relentless humanitarian services to the most unprivileged, poor diseased and intense spirit to serve the mankind despite all odds.

Mr. Abraham Lincoln, I desire to build into my own character the keen sense of justice, the untiring spirit of patience, the sense of humor, the human understanding, and the tolerance which were your distinguishing characteristics.

Napoleon Bonaparte, I desire to acquire from you, by emulation, the marvelous ability you possessed to inspire men and arouse them to greater and more determined spirit of action. Also to acquire the spirit of enduring faith, which enabled you to turn defeat into victory, and to surmount staggering obstacles.

Albert Einstein, I wish to acquire from you the Scientific Bent, ever inquisitive mind, the spirit to innovate and contribute to Humanity.

Napoleon Hills, I want to acquire from you the ability to nurture the human resources and to Give the society the magic formulae of success of wealth and fortune and helping people realize their true potential.

Mr. Shiva Khera, I want to acquire from you the skill and understanding to motivate the people towards positive ends and to offer the world the blue print for positive and successful life.

Bill Gates, I wish to acquire from you the Brilliant Intelligence, Innovation, Intense drive to succeed, persistence, personal intensity and conscientiousness dimensions

5. Physical Action / Body Language Approach :

In general it is the positive practice or experiencing desired traits whether the desired perfection achieved or not.

It is generally said that our personality traits control our body language. But it is a fact that the reverse is also true. This means we can change our negative traits towards positive traits by consciously practicing the body language for positive traits.

6. Domino-effect. Direct exposure to good personalities or environment :

Here the direct environment is the driving force in shaping the personalities. When one constantly remains in direct contact with great personalities will enriches his own to be the one. Similarly the organization culture and structure also many times influences ones personality. Sometimes it is the guiding principle for job satisfaction / recruitment.

Caution should be taken while programming your mind for positive traits only. Because these processes give results for negative traits also. Mahatma Gandhi and Adolf Hitler both successfully applied these principles but one positively and other negatively.

SIXTEEN PRIMARY PERSONALITY TRAITS :

  1. Reserved vs Outgoing
  2. Less intelligent vs More intelligent
  3. Affected by feeling vs Emotionally stable
  4. Submissive vs Dominant
  5. Serious vs Happy to Lucky
  6. Expedient vs Conscientious
  7. Timid vs Venturesome
  8. Tough-minded vs Sensitive
  9. Trusting vs Suspicious
  10. Practical vs Imaginative
  11. Forthright vs Shrewd
  12. Self-assured vs Apprehansive
  13. Conservative vs Experimenting
  14. Group dependant vs Self-sufficient
  15. Uncontrolled vs Controlled
  16. Relaxed vs Tense
Some of the behavioral and attitude traits as identified by Shiv Khera for positive personality building……


TRAITS FOR BUILDING POSITIVE PERSONALITY :
1. Accept Responsibility :

The price of grateness is the responsibility – Winston Churchill
“Responsibility gravitates to the person who can shoulder them.”
-- Elbert Hubbard
 
Society is not destroyed by the activities of the rascals, but by the inactivity of good people.


2. Show consideration :
Show consideration, courtesy, politeness and caring.

3. Think Win-Win : Win-Win philosophy is the ultimate way to success in the collaborative and networked world. One who master that art can achieve greatly.


4. Choose your words carefully:
The principle is your speaking must be better than silent, rather be silent.
Words spoken out of bitterness can cause irreparable damage. The way the parents speak to their children in many instances shapes their children’s destiny.

5. Never Criticize, Complain and Condemn: Constructive criticism is a terminology used to conceal one's own cynicism. Afterall the limit of constructiveness of constructive criticism vary from person to person. we sometime misjudge this limit and many times cross the limit which is detrimental.

6. Smile and Be Kind :
Smile is the shortest distance between two people.

7. Put Positive interpretation on other people’s behavior:
We see the world not as it is, but as we are.

So when we are interpreting other peoples behavior negatively we just reflecting our own mentality to this situation. In contrast when interpret positively, chances that other people may realize its negativity and change or amend this.

8. Be a Good Listener :
Effective communication is 50% listening, 25% speaking, 15% reading and 10% writing. So when we listen carefully then 50% communication is done.

9. Be Enthusiastic :
Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm
--- Ralph Waldo Emersion
10. Give honest and Sincere Appreciation :
The desire to feel important is one of the gratest craving in most of the human beings and it can be a great motivator. Honest and sincere appreciation makes one feel important and promote these positive qualities in him. In contrast giving false and insincere appreciation is flattery or sycophancy which in the long run is harmful to the receipient.

11. When you make a mistake, accept it and make it easy to amend:
Mistakes are to be learned from. So accept it immediately and make change or amend easy.

12. Discuss but don’t argue:
Arguing is like fighting a losing battle. Even if one wins in the argument, the cost may be more than the worth of victory.
An Ignominious victory is a defeat itself.

13. Don’t Gossip:

Gossip may lead to slander and defamation of character. People who listen to gossip are as guilty as those who do the gossiping.

14. Turn your promises into commitment:
Commitment leads to enduring relationship through thick and thin. It shows in a person's personality and relationship.

15. Be grateful but do not expect gratitude:

16. Be dependable and practice loyalty:
An ounce of loyalty is worth more than a pound of cleverness.
Ability without dependability is of no worth.

17. Avoid bearing grudges:
Life is too small to bear grudges.

John Kennedy once said “forgive the other person but don’t forget their name.” Means “if one cheated me once it is his fault, but if cheats me twice then it is my fault.”

18. Practice honesty, Integrity and Sincerity:
Lies may have speed, but the truth has endurance.
Honesty, Integrity and Sincerity have more enduring effect than the opposite.

19. Practice Humility:
Don’t be cheated regularly to forgive.

Confidence without humility is arrogance. Sincere Humility is the foundation of all virtues. It is a sign of greatness.

20. Be understanding and Caring :

The best way to be understood is to be understanding. And the basis of real communication is also understanding.

21. Practice courtesy on daily basis :
22. Develop a sense of humor:

Have a sense of humor and you will possess the ability to laugh at yourself. A sense of humor makes a person likeable and attractive. Some people are humor-impaired.

23. Don’t be sarcastic and put others down :
24. To have a friend be a Friend :
Mutual trust and confidence are the foundation stones of all friendship.

25. Show Empathy :

Empathy alone is a very important characteristic of positive personality. People with empathy ask themselves this question, “how would I feel if someone treated me that way?”

By : Abhishek Kumar Sadhu
http://sadhuji.blogspot.com/2008/12/personality-development.html
 

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Hale Dwoskin: Getting Rid of Bad Habits

Tips for Breaking Bad Habits and Developing Good Habits

Most of life is habitual. You do the same things you did yesterday, the day before and every day for the last month. It’s estimated that out of every 11,000 signals we receive from our senses, our brain only consciously processes 40.

Habits, good or bad, make you who you are. The key is controlling them. If you know how to change your habits, then even a small effort can create big changes.
I’ve been using these techniques for years to re-engineer many aspects of my life. That includes overhauling my diet, exercising regularly, cutting out television, and bulking my e-mail and work routines. Little changes that, when put on autopilot, can result in an improved quality of life.
Here are some tips to get you started:
One Habit For 30 Days – Steve Pavlina, popularized the 30 Day Trial. You focus on one change for thirty days. After that time it has been sufficiently conditioned to become a habit. I’ve used this as the basis for most of my habit changes. It definitely works to sculpt the automatic programs that run in the background of your mind.
Use a Trigger – A trigger is a short ritual you perform before a habit. If you wanted to wake up earlier this might mean jumping out of bed as soon as you hear the sound of your alarm. If you wanted to stop smoking this could be snapping your fingers every time you feel the urge for a cigarette. A trigger helps condition a new pattern more consistently.
Replace Lost Needs – If you opened up your computer and started removing hardware, what would happen. Chances are your computer wouldn’t work. Similarly, you can’t just pull out habits without replacing the needs they fulfill. Giving up television might mean you need to find a new way to relax, socialize or get information.
One Habit at a Time – A month may seem like a long time to focus on only one change, but I’ve found trying to change more than a few habits at a time to be reckless. With just one habit change you can focus on making it really stick. Multitasking between three or four often means none become habits.
Balance Feedback – The difference between long-term change and giving up on day 31 is the balance of feedback. If your change creates more pain in your life than joy, it is going to be hard to stick to. Don’t go to the gym if you hate it. Find diets, exercise, financial plans and work routines that are fun to follow and support you.
“But” to Kill Bad Thoughts – A prominent habit-changing therapist once told me a great way to nuke bad thinking. Anytime you feel yourself thinking negatively about yourself, use the word “but” and point out positive aspects. “I’m lousy at this job – but – if I keep at it I can probably improve.”
Write it Down – Don’t leave commitments in your brain. Write them on paper. This does two things. First, it creates clarity by defining in specific terms what your change means. Second, it keeps you committed since it is easy to dismiss a thought, but harder to dismiss a promise printed in front of you.
30, 90, 365 – I’d like to say most habits go through a series of checkpoints in terms of conditioning. The first is at thirty days. Here it doesn’t require willpower to continue your change, but problems might offset it. At ninety days any change should be neutral where running the habit is no more difficult than not running it. At one year it is generally harder not to run the habit than to continue with it. Be patient and run habits through the three checkpoints to make them stick.
Get Leverage – Give a buddy a hundred bucks with the condition to return it to you only when you’ve completed thirty days without fail. Make a public commitment to everyone you know that you’re going to stick with it. Offer yourself a reward if you make it a month. Anything to give yourself that extra push.
Keep it Simple – Your change should involve one or two rules, not a dozen. Exercising once per day for at least thirty minutes is easier to follow than exercising Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Fridays with yoga the first day and mountain biking the third day, except when it is raining in which case you will do… Simple rules create habits, complex rules create headaches.
Consistency is Key – The point of a habit is that it doesn’t require thought. Variety may be the spice of life, but it doesn’t create habits. Make sure your habit is as consistent as possible and is repeated every day for thirty days. This will ensure a new habit is drilled in, instead of multiple habits loosely conditioned.
Experiment – You can’t know whether a different habit will work until you try it. Mix around with key habits until you find ones that suit you. Don’t try to follow habits because you should, but because you’ve tested them and they work in your life.
Post Your Change Here – Pick a change you want to work on and post it right here in the comments. You’ll get the benefits of writing it down and making a public commitment. The best time to start is right now.
There is no better way to break bad habits than knowing you have the confidence to do so. Confidence is the key to a well lived life.
http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/strategies-for-breaking-bad-habits-and-cultivating-good-ones/

Sunday, November 18, 2012

How to Improve Memory - Easy Tips and Techniques

Let me ask you these few questions to see if you're one of those many people that need to learn how to improve memory. Are you tired of forgetting your mother's birthday, your wedding anniversary or to pick up milk and bread on your way home? Can you even find your keys now that you have to go back to the shops to pick up the bread and milk you forgot?

I wish I had a photographic memory, also know as eidetic memory, as I think life would be so much easier. I know that there are many courses out there that can develop my photographic memory, but until I save up the money to do one of these courses I have had to find techniques that could improve just my standard memory... now.
So here's the few things that have helped me: 
  1. It all starts with my own self-talk - are you like me and you start to get nervous and build up a sweat when meeting new people, simply because you are 'sure' that you'll forget their names 3 seconds after hearing it? Well you're going to have to curb that first off. You know that you have the ability to improve so give your mind every chance, believe in yourself, commit to the task of improving your memory and then give yourself hearty encouragement with each achievement.
  2. Now for the dreaded word - EXERCISE! - yes, your brain is just like the rest of your body, it requires exercise to stay in tip-top shape. Just as your muscles grow and develop when you do physical exercise, so does your brain when you do mental exercise. It strengthens the neural pathways in your brain, opening more and more areas of your brain. Exercising can involve, doing puzzles or riddles, learning a new language or a new musical instrument. Keep it interesting and you will enjoy the 'exercise' while you're at it.
  3. Don't forget to exercise your body too - we can't improve just one area of our body without the assistance of our whole body, that's just how it works. So some regular aerobic exercise gets the blood flowing (improving circulation) to all parts of our body, including the brain. Physical exercise also helps you to be more alert, yet relaxed, and in a 'good frame of mind' for remembering.
  4. Reduce stress - of course we can't completely eliminate stress from our lives, and stress has it's benefits too. But uncontrolled stress can affect our health both physically and mentally. Find what helps you to reduce stress. For me, yoga or pilates work a treat. It's something that I enjoy doing, I get satisfaction out of doing because I know it's good for me, and it's an hour in my day where I forget about what's happening and just concentrate on getting my downward facing dog right.
  5. Take better pictures - Sometimes we forget things, not because our memory is bad, but because we not really concentrating and taking in the details. Listen to their name, think about it, look at what colour tie their wearing and what colour their hair is. Engage in meeting that person and concentrate on seeing details about them and what they're saying.
  6. Give yourself time to form a memory - Memories are quickly lost in the short-term, and distractions can make you forget. When meeting a new person, are you listening and concentrating or are you distracted by the piece of spinach in their teeth? The key to avoid losing memories before they have even formed is to give yourself time to focus on things without allowing yourself to be distracted.
  7. Create vivid images - The more you can visualise information, the easier it is for you to remember. But you must make your visualisations stand out in your mind by making them shocking your absurd. For example, if you want to associate a man with a laptop, try not to visualize the man using the laptop - that's too simple and forgettable. Instead, come up with something more jarring, something that sticks, like the laptop chasing the man, or the man eating the laptop. It's your mind - make the images as shocking and emotional as possible to keep the associations strong.
  8. Repeat things - A nice easy one, this is a no-brainer but, the more times you hear, see, or think about something, the more you'll remember it! That new person you met, try repeating their name, write it down, think about it. You'll remember it.
  9. Get your life organised - put your keys, wallet and phone in the same place every time you come home. Get (and use!) a diary or organiser to keep track of your appointments, bills, birthdays and anniversaries. I know this won't improve your memory, but it will free your mind up from the routine things in life and allow you to concentrate on memory improvement. Plus, in my case, it greatly reduced stress!
  10. Have a go anyway -you'll learn from your mistakes. Whether it's listing all the Presidents of the United States, the phone numbers and birth dates of 50 friends or relatives or simply your grocery list. Through consist effort and determination you will eventually learn how to improve memory.
See that's not such a difficult list is it? All easy to implement strategies that you can start doing now. You do have the power to improve your memory, but you do have to do a little work and make it a priority in your life. It's worth it, don't you think?
http://EzineArticles.com/2461352

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

What are the Common relaxation techniques?

In our everyday lives finding a way to slow things down and relax might not be quite as simple as it sounds. The stress of our work, home, and social lives, with the over-stimulation and constant communication of our increasingly technological age, can take control of our days (and nights for that matter.) Finding out how to relax can be beneficial for both our mental and physical well-being.

Some experts suggest that relaxation techniques can be broken down into three sub-genres: Autogenic relaxation, muscle relaxation, and visualization. Autogenic relaxation involves conditioning the mind to move into a relaxed state. This relaxation technique can be achieved by the use of auditory queues or other sensory stimuli.

The second group of relaxation techniques, progressive muscle relaxation, involves controlling your muscles and learning how to train them to relax. The third and final relaxation technique is visualization, in which someone attempts to go on a mental journey, guided by relevant and helpful stimuli, to help them achieve relaxation and conquer anxieties

The first key relaxation technique is called Autogenic Relaxation, with autogenic actually meaning “coming from within.” Proper use of this technique involves employing both visual imagery and bodily awareness to give the effect of a peaceful place that is free from stress.

The repetition of an auditory phrase can be used to pull the mind away from the stress of reality. The final part of autogenic relaxation is focusing on a controlled, steady breathing pattern. This can help to lower the heart rate and may also cause a physical relaxation sensation. Yoga relaxation and breathing exercises are two examples of Autogenic Relaxation that combine mental awareness with breathwork activities.

Progressive muscle relaxation (PMR) is different from autogenic relaxation because you are focusing directly on changing your physical state. Progressive muscle relaxation combines relaxation techniques to target your physical and mental wellbeing simultaneously. In this technique certain muscle groups are tensed and then relaxed.

Usually this technique begins with the extremities of the body, such as fingers and toes. First you tense your fingers and toes, hold that pose for 5-10 seconds, release the tension, and follow it with a relaxation pose for at least 60 seconds. After this you would continue working towards the center of your body, repeating the pose on your stomach, legs, shoulders, and finally head.

Visualization is the third and least commonly used form of relaxation. In visualization a person is guided on a kind of journey through the mind’s eye in which he or she willingly confronts the underlying causes of stress.

The roots of this stress can vary depending on the individual. In this relaxation technique one forms mental images and pictures to visually journey to a peaceful place. If you choose to imagine a serene forest, think of the smell of pine needles on the ground, the sound of the brisk wind flowing through the newly leafless trees, and the feeling of a rocky path under your feet.

Imagining that all of your senses are implicated in your visualization journey is important for this relaxation technique to work. To achieve the maximum result from visualization you should be in a quiet, preferably dark room with no distractions, loosening any tight or binding articles of clothing.

  All three of these techniques are easy to practice, but can sometimes be difficult to master. It is only after months, and sometimes even years of practice that they reach their full relaxation potential.
The best way to see results from practicing these relaxation techniques is to make them part of your daily routine by trying to set aside 10 minutes every day to practice your new relaxation technique.

https://www.selfdevelopment.net/relaxation/relaxation-techniques/what-are-the-common-relaxation-techniques

Try These Easy Personal Development Tips Today

Simple yet productive way to learn something new can be found in the kitchen. Instead of preparing the same old tried-and-true dishes, do a search for a new and exciting recipe one night a week. Surprise your family, put out the good china and light a candle or two. Meals are a perfect way to encourage family togetherness and conversation.

In order to improve along your path of personal development it is important for you to clearly define your goals. Define what you want the purpose of your life to be and then consider the goals that you must achieve in order to bring that purpose into your life. Write these goals down and look at them daily to remind yourself the direction that you need to be heading.

When it comes to personal development, be sure that you hold your values in high esteem not only to yourself but also to anybody that might challenge them. This is important because in order to come across as a strong person you need to stand up for what you believe in because that is what makes you who you are.

Try to make time to socialize. You should not sacrifice your social and family life for work, pain or anxiety. Getting a break to relax with people you like to be around can really do wonders for you. It can refresh and recharge you so that you can accomplish much more. You may even get some pointers while you're chatting with other people.

To get the most from your personal development endeavors, set goals designed to make you happy first. Remember that the criticism you absorb from others is only holding you back from achieving happiness and feeling good about yourself. Put those criticisms aside and focus on what you really want in life.

Make sure you are using all your advantages like you should. If you have specific skills, find a job where you can use them. If you own property that you do not use, rent it. Make the best out of what you have before thinking about acquiring even more things.

Personal development means branching out. Why not enhance your knowledge base? After you've identified your personal weaknesses, find self-help media that will enable you to combat them! There is a book for virtually any type of self-made obstacles. Audio books are an excellent alternative to those who are seeing impaired. Either way you go, self-help books make a lot of sense.

To develop yourself, you must also help develop others. Act as a mentor for others to help them learn more about themselves. Motivate them to succeed and provide them with encouraging words. Through the process of doing this you will also develop yourself and become more highly motivated to succeed.

Determine why you engage in negative activities. Do you smoke because you feel the need to do something with your hands when in an uncomfortable situation or because you need the nicotine high? Do you eat too much because you are bored or lonely? Determine the reason for these behaviors and you are more likely to successfully address them.

Remove stress by getting a hobby. When you find an activity that you are interested in and like to do, you will have something to concentrate on besides whatever is giving you stress. You can find social hobbies that allow you to interact with other people, but solitary hobbies also go a long way in relieving stress.

When it comes to personal development, be sure that you are careful with all of the large decisions that you make. This is important because bad decisions may eventually turn into repeats of themselves. It is important to assess each situation as though it is new and ensure you are choosing your solutions wisely.

Personal development requires constant attention in that you need to remain motivated and consistent with your actions and emotions. Stay positive and stick to your plan. Keep your plan simple at first and gradually build on to it. This will ensure you won't be tempted to quit or get off track.

If your development is health or fitness related, try to join a support community related to the topic. This can help you learn new tips, but it also helps you to stay accountable. This can be either a group who meets at regular intervals or an online forum. Forums are often more convenient, as you are able to update at your leisure.

Analyze everything you do. If you're practicing a core set of beliefs, identify when you practice them, how you stuck to your convictions and what this action means for both future actions and your core beliefs. This enables you to keep a clear head on your journey to personal development.

Find a trusted mentor to help you with your personal development, especially in your career. Someone currently working in the position you aspire to or exhibiting the traits you are trying to develop can provide invaluable insight into your actions or behaviors. Having an impartial perspective from someone you respect and trust helps considerably when it comes to personal development.

One of the most important things someone can do to improve their life is to exercise effectively. When we exercise not only do we improve our perception of ourselves but it also helps keep an important chemical balance in our body. Also, in times of anxiety or depression exercise can help us put our life in perspective and work through the hard times.

Rather than becoming resentful and angry because others do not cave in to your every desire, learn to accept compromise. Remember, chances are good that the person on the other end of the argument feels as passionately about his or her stance as you do about your own. Look for solutions that will satisfy the both of you.

As you can see from this article, something as simple as trying a new recipe out on your family, can enrich your mealtime together and help you learn a few new tricks in the kitchen as well. As little as once a week can create a sense of anticipation and fun for everyone. Try it and see what you can create!

http://www.sgrecruiters.com/try-these-easy-personal-development-tips-today

The seven habits of highly effective people

Dr Stephen Covey is a hugely influential management guru, whose book The Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People, became a blueprint for personal development when it was published in 1990. The Seven Habits are said by some to be easy to understand but not as easy to apply. Don't let the challenge daunt you: The 'Seven Habits' are a remarkable set of inspirational and aspirational standards for anyone who seeks to live a full, purposeful and good life, and are applicable today more than ever, as the business world becomes more attuned to humanist concepts. Covey's values are full of integrity and humanity, and contrast strongly with the process-based ideologies that characterised management thinking in earlier times.

Stephen Covey, as well as being a renowned writer, speaker, academic and humanist, has also built a huge training and consultancy products and services business - Franklin Covey which has a global reach, and has at one time or another consulted with and provided training services to most of the world's leading corporations.

Stephen Covey's Seven Habits of Highly Effective People®

habit 1 - be proactive®

This is the ability to control one's environment, rather than have it control you, as is so often the case. Self determination, choice, and the power to decide response to stimulus, conditions and circumstances

habit 2 - begin with the end in mind®

Covey calls this the habit of personal leadership - leading oneself that is, towards what you consider your aims. By developing the habit of concentrating on relevant activities you will build a platform to avoid distractions and become more productive and successful.

habit 3 - put first things first®

Covey calls this the habit of personal management. This is about organising and implementing activities in line with the aims established in habit 2. Covey says that habit 2 is the first, or mental creation; habit 3 is the second, or physical creation. (See the section on time management.)

habit 4 - think win-win®

Covey calls this the habit of interpersonal leadership, necessary because achievements are largely dependent on co-operative efforts with others. He says that win-win is based on the assumption that there is plenty for everyone, and that success follows a co-operative approach more naturally than the confrontation of win-or-lose.

habit 5 - seek first to understand and then to be understood®

One of the great maxims of the modern age. This is Covey's habit of communication, and it's extremely powerful. Covey helps to explain this in his simple analogy 'diagnose before you prescribe'. Simple and effective, and essential for developing and maintaining positive relationships in all aspects of life. (See the associated sections on Empathy, Transactional Analysis, and the Johari Window.)

habit 6 - synergize®

Covey says this is the habit of creative co-operation - the principle that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts, which implicitly lays down the challenge to see the good and potential in the other person's contribution.

habit 7 - sharpen the saw®

This is the habit of self renewal, says Covey, and it necessarily surrounds all the other habits, enabling and encouraging them to happen and grow. Covey interprets the self into four parts: the spiritual, mental, physical and the social/emotional, which all need feeding and developing.

Stephen Covey's Seven Habits are a simple set of rules for life - inter-related and synergistic, and yet each one powerful and worthy of adopting and following in its own right. For many people, reading Covey's work, or listening to him speak, literally changes their lives. This is powerful stuff indeed and highly recommended.


This 7 Habits summary is just a brief overview - the full work is fascinating, comprehensive, and thoroughly uplifting. Read the book, or listen to the full audio series if you can get hold of it.


In his more recent book 'The 8th Habit', Stephen Covey introduced (logically) an the eighth habit, which deals with personal fulfilment and helping others to achieve fulfilment too, which aligns helpfully with Maslow's notions of 'Self-Actualization' and 'Transcendence' in the Hierarchy of Needs model, and also with the later life-stages in Erikson's Psychosocial Life-Stage Theory

The 8th Habit book also focuses on leadership, another distinct aspect of fulfilment through helping others. Time will tell whether the The 8th Habit achieves recognition and reputation close to Covey's classic original 7 Habits work.


N.B. Various phrases on this page are registered trade marks belonging to Stephen Covey.


Stephen Covey's principles are protected intellectual property and feature strongly in the Franklin Covey organization's portfolio of products and services.