As the Athletic Director and head coach of the Varsity Soccer team at Ryerson University, Dr. Joseph is often asked what skills he is searching for as a recruiter: is it speed? Strength? Agility? In Dr. Joseph's TEDx Talk, he explores self confidence and how it is not just the most important skill in athletics, but in our lives.
Tuesday, April 7, 2015
5 Ways To Boost Your Self Esteem
While for many, self-esteem issues are a transitional part
of growing into an adult and finding a place in the world, scientific research
studies show that people with continued low self-esteem are also more likely to
suffer from depression, anxiety, poor physical health, and even a lower income
later on in life.
Those with long lasting issues of low self-esteem know only
too well that it is not something you grow out of, but something that sits in
the subconscious mind and continues to affect every part of life for years. How
then can we enhance self esteem.
Here are five ways that you can do just that.
1. Model Confident People
Noticing what confident people do, how they speak, the ways
they behave, can provide vital clues to finding self-esteem inside yourself.
Who is the most confident person you can think of? When you have them firmly in
your mind, ask yourself these questions: how do they hold their shoulders? How
do they stand? How do they walk? What clothes do they wear? How do they behave
when with other people? What sort of things do you imagine they say about
themselves? And if they were in your situation, what would they do?
This questioning goes far beyond "fake it till you make
it" - it links us into the answers already inside us. Once you have a list
of what that confident person would do, go ahead and model this behaviour. Try
it on for a few hours, a day, even a few days. Notice how everything you do,
and the events around you, begin to change on their own.
2. Advertise Yourself
When you have to convince someone else about your strengths,
it can have a fantastic effect on your self-esteem. Sitting down and really
thinking about all your skills, gifts and talents is a wonderful reminder of
all the good things about being you. Try writing an advertisement selling
yourself as the perfect partner, house mate, friend, etc, with a full
description of why anyone would be lucky to have you around. Don't be afraid to
blow your own trumpet. This isn't an exercise in modesty, but in self-esteem.
3. Work On Your Resume
Resumes are all about convincing someone to hire your time
and your expertise. Giving your resume a regular update can also give your
self-esteem a great boost. Alternatively, update your Facebook profile. Strange
as it sounds, there is now research from Cornell University in New York to prove
that people who view their Facebook profiles more regularly have better
self-esteem. You get to go back and view your clever status updates, your
significant dates and events, and photos of good times.
4. Say Positive Things About Yourself
Saying positive things about yourself, to yourself or
others, is important. What we say about ourselves reveals a lot about our level
of self-esteem. When we rehearse only what we do wrong, or don't like about
ourselves, our brain builds neural pathways for these conversations, till
eventually negative self-talk is practically automatic.
If you are not used to talking about yourself in a positive
way, you will simply have to learn how. Keep practicing, choose a few nice
things to say or think about yourself and use them as a mantra every day. It
can be something you are proud of about yourself, or positive things you
remember others saying about you in the past.
The more you repeat this, the easier the behaviour will
become as your nervous system will build more neural connections to this
positive self-talk, and less to the negative self-talk.
5. Is It You, Or Is It Them?
The people who surround us, at home, at school, at work, or
in social settings, can have a huge impact on our self-esteem. Either they will
support us, making us feel better about ourselves, or their negativity will
bring us down emotionally. This may not be intentional. Some people just seem
to notice what's wrong more than on what's right.
If you find there are people in your life who make you feel
bad about yourself, you need to make a decision. Can you counteract the effect
they are having with you? Or do you need to do some prunning?
Do you really need to be around people who make you feel bad
about yourself? Choose to associate with positive people that make you feel
alive, happy, and optimistic about life.
Deciding to spend less time with people isn't about making
anyone else 'wrong' or 'bad' -- it has to do with making clear decisions about
how you want to feel, and asserting your right to feel good instead of bad.
Use these strategies on a regular basis and you really will
boost your self-esteem -- and increase your self-confidence.
Power Affirmations – Ignite Your Personal Power!
These positive affirmations are specifically designed to awaken the vast storehouse of profound inner potential, positive thinking and enable you to manifest your highest intentions in every area of your life.
Positive Affirmations Are Used In Many Situations But Do They Really Work?
Positive affirmations are a technique used in several
different religious, cultural and psychological situations. They have been used
for several centuries and only recently (the last 25 to 30 years) come
extremely popular in pop-culture. Individuals talk about positive affirmations
to help you lose weight, increase your income, get that great job or even
attract your perfect mate.
And while positive affirmations really do work for specific
individuals who use them in specific ways, they can also create more negative
results in a person's life than positive. Let me explain.
Most people who use positive affirmations create a statement
that is vague and abstract such as "I am a thin and beautiful person"
or "I am the next CEO". The statement about being thin and beautiful
indicates that you are getting thinner in a specific way but does not tell you
if you are losing weight, you are thin or you are getting beautiful.
Another problem with positive affirmations which are
structured by telling yourself that you are what you want to be in the future
is that your brain knows that you have not yet achieved that goal. You are
fooling only yourself and will not achieve any positive benefit from these
statements. Your subconscious mind will not be fooled into believing that you
are thin today when the scales said you are 50 pounds overweight.
Another problem with positive affirmations is that they are
often not action oriented. Every time an individual achieves success they
achieve it by doing something. This means they are performing an action and not
sitting around waiting for something to happen to them. Each time you tell
yourself that you are the current CEO of your company, another part of your
brain says "yeah, right". You defeat yourself each time you repeat
these positive affirmations.
There are times when an individual has such focus and
mindset that they are able to repeat these positive affirmations daily and
create this reality for themselves without editing the affirmations or negating
them. However, these individuals are far and few between and based on the
amount of focus and concentration it takes to use this type of affirmation
without becoming discouraged, this individual would have succeeded with or
without the affirmation.
Instead, individuals should attempt to create a positive
story that includes action and evokes both a visual and emotional response. By
pulling auditory, visual and emotional factors into a global story, an
individual has a greater chance of incorporating his positive statement into
his current state of mind.
So, instead of using "I am thin and beautiful" an
individual may express "today I choose to eat fruits and vegetables and be
excited about the flavors".
The current thoughts in psychology and our culture is that
we are what we believe we are and we become what dominates most of our
thoughts. This is indeed true and will never be overcome by a simple one line
positive affirmation stated over and over again all day long. Instead, the goal
of an individual is to create a reality in which they are moving toward their
goal in a positive and successful manner.
Believe it or not we already have affirmations that we
repeat to ourselves on a daily basis without even thinking about it. For
instance, when looking at a particular product we wish to buy the first thing
that comes into our heads may be "I'm not made of money" or
"Money doesn't grow on trees" or "I can't afford that".
Each of these are negative affirmations about money and how an individual
perceives their ability to spend money.
We each have these affirmations about the way we look in the
mirror, the type of person we can attract, the number of friends we have, the
type of job we have and the amount of money we are or are not capable of
making. All of these affirmations or statements are important in the way that
we'd perceive our own reality and the results that we can achieve.
The most effective affirmations will be the ones that you
write yourself, that have a personal meaning in your life and that evoke strong
emotions. You may choose to write your affirmations down on paper and carry
them with you so that you might glance at them and repeat them several times a
day. Be sure to remember the emotion that it brings up inside and hold onto
that emotion because that's what makes the affirmation powerful.
Remember that just staring in the mirror and telling
yourself that your acne has gone, you are 50 pounds lighter or that your ears
are smaller will not make it so. In fact, by doing that your subconscious mind
will sabotage your efforts and make it even that much more difficult to achieve
your goals and count yourself among the successful people in your life.
http://EzineArticles.com/8985431
How To Feel Happy - Scientifically Proven Ways of Creating Lasting Happiness
How To Feel Happy - Learn how to get lasting fulfillment and happiness in life without succumbing to common pitfalls that only lead to disappointment.
3 Ways To Get Instantly Happier
Now happiness is a universal value that everyone looks for
in their lives. No matter where you live, or what you do, chances are you're
doing the things in your life because you think it will bring you happiness.
So why are so many people unhappy? If we know what happiness
is and we know we want it, why aren't more of us there? How do we get to there?
Well, here's the first thing to be happy about, happiness
has already been figured out!
Thousands of studies that have been done by scientists all
around the world have shown that there are patterns that keep popping up. These
scientists have found the consistent way to achieve happiness and it's really
not that complicated.
You don't need a fancy degree or big brain or lots of money
to get to your happiness. You just need to do three basic things.
And as I go through each thing, I want you to take stock of
your life. I want you to ask yourself (be honest!) if you're doing these things
and, if not, how you can start today.
1) Be Grateful
The first thing we'll look at is gratitude.
Simple, right? Just be grateful. Actually, this is harder
than it looks.
Because life isn't perfect and our lives aren't perfect.
There are plenty of things that we wish we had more of, or less of. Hey,
there's always room for improvement. But starting with gratitude, being
grateful for what you have, is a key first step.
How can you be grateful? Start with awareness. Be aware of
what is around you, no matter how basic.
Be aware of standing on your two feet (not everyone does this),
being above ground (many people are no longer with us), eating three meals a
day (a luxury for many people around the world), and having a roof over your
head (you get the picture).
Be grateful for what you have, because you probably have a
lot compared to many people!
And keep that awareness, that gratitude, as you move through
your day. When you encounter things or people that don't go your way, be
grateful that you encountered them. Because those experiences have a lot to
teach you.
Think of a negative experience that you've had with a
co-worker. You're probably not grateful that you had that negative experience.
But think of all the things that encounter has taught you. You now know what
kind of person that co-worker is. You know how to handle that co-worker in
similar circumstances. And you know how to master your feelings the next time
you work with them. Those are three gifts that you didn't have before that
negative experience. Be grateful for that!
Life is going to throw you curveballs. But if you focus on
how you can't hit a curveball, as any baseball player will tell you, it's going
to get worse. So stay grateful and learn what you can within that gratitude.
2) Remain Engaged
The second important value to look at is engagement. How
engaged are you with the world and the tasks in your life?
I look at my two-year old son and I marvel at how engaged he
is with the world around him. He's discovering all these things around him.
When I watch him color or build with his blocks, you see the concentration in
his eyes. You can see the spark as he engages directly in what he's doing. He's
excited about the thing, anything, whatever it is.
And that's what you need to do. Stay engaged.
It's not easy. Actually it's sometimes downright boring. Our
minds wander or we prioritize something else. But resist that temptation to let
your mind wander to somewhere you think you'll be happier and stay engaged.
Stay engaged at work. Stay engaged in your conversations
with friends and co-workers. Stay engaged no matter what you're doing.
If you're disengaged, that sinking apathetic feeling will
consume you. You'll be missing that spark of life that you need to drive you
forward. Be a kid playing with the new world you've just discovered.
Be engaged.
3) Remain Optimistic
You know, optimism sometimes gets a bum rap. We think of
optimism as being chipper, or bubbly, or worse, completely unrealistic. But you
know what optimism truly is? It's just an anticipation of the future. A belief
in yourself that you can master what lies ahead.
You don't want to be the person that's already beaten before
they've begun. You know the kind. "Aw man," these people say, "I
have to work tomorrow... bleh."
We all know people like that. They're no fun to be around.
Don't be like them.
Take my buddy, Wayne. I've known him for 18 years. He is a
happy person. One look at him and you just know that he's a happy person. He's
always grateful. He's so present. And when he talks to you, even if there are a
million people around you, he makes you feel like you're the only person in the
room. He's directly engaged with you all the time. And he's always positive
about the future. He's happy.
Think about the people in your life. Especially the happy
ones. Are they grateful? Are they engaged? Are they anticipating the future?
Remaining optimistic about the future is no easy task. You
live in the present. And the past has already happened. But how you feel can
take you into the future on a cloud of confidence or slow you down like a
rainstorm.
The promise of the future and all that it holds should be
the thing to fuel you in your present. Optimism is the final piece of your
happiness that begins with being grateful and remaining engaged.
Remembering those three things (gratefulness, engagement,
and optimism) will be helpful to you on your path to happiness. But you must
practice these things regularly. You must actively decide to do these things or
they simply won't work.
Each piece supports the other. To be grateful, you must be
engaged. To be engaged, you must be optimistic. And to be optimistic, you must
be grateful for what you have and what you will have soon.
These things aren't easy to do, and you may not do them all
the time, but being aware of the importance of these three steps is a great way
to get to your happiness.
These are important steps to practice at work, at home, and
with every interaction that you have. Before long, it will become second nature
to you. And you'll have people coming up to you asking, "How do you stay
so... happy?
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