Friday, December 7, 2012
How To Instantly Relieve Stress & Increase Happy Hormones
Please see interesting breathing technique how immediately come down and relieve stress......
Monday, December 3, 2012
15 Phrases That Build Bridges Between People
Business is
changing. The experts sure seem to think so. Every day, some new article hypes
a brave new world of egalitarian openness and collaboration. That might be true
if you work for yourself. For the rest of us, it’s still a winner-take-all,
command-and-control world. Always has been, always will be. The experts may own
the language, but not reality. When leaders feel threatened or the ink runs
red, they rarely tap into their talent for solutions. More often, they cut
communication and withdraw behind closed doors. Corporate culture can overcome
many hurdles, but never human nature.
In reality,
business has changed little. Work still involves small victories and slow
progress, often ambiguous and rarely permanent. That said, what drives workers
has changed little too. Besides money, they want a voice. They dream of
receiving a fair shot to make a difference. And they long to feel special. And
all that starts with communication. These days, we’re taught that tone and body
language are the message. But words – and what they signify – matter
too. Over time, your character, competence, and caring may be revealed by your
actions. In a micro world, it is the right words used at the right moments that
spark conversations and build bridges between people.
Want to tap
into the deepest yearnings of your peers and employees? Consider sprinkling
these phrases into your daily conversations:
1) Thank You: Common
courtesy? Sure. But tell me this: When was the last time you forgot (or
rejected) gratitude? Whether given in private or public, a sincere ‘thanks’
creates goodwill. Don’t forget your mother’s advice: “Say please.” People are
always happier doing a favor than taking an order.
2) I Trust Your
Judgment: Translation:
“You have my permission. I believe in you. Now, go make it happen.” Feels
pretty uplifting to hear that, doesn’t it? And I’ll bet you’d do almost
anything to please someone who makes you feel that way. Your employees and peers
are no different.
3) I Don’t
Know: We don’t have
all the answers. And it scares us to death. That’s a perfect point to start a
dialogue…over facts and fears. Facing the unknown – and seeking assurances and
answers – bonds people like nothing else. All you have to do is first admit
what you don’t know.
5) What I Hear
You Saying Is: Ever wonder if someone has been listening to you? Be assured the person
speaking to you is. So here’s a way to keep the ideas flowing. Step back and
rephrase what someone says. In fact, vaguely distort or stray from it. This
offers two benefits. It implies that you’re engaged, increasing the likelihood
you’ll get more detail. It also helps you gauge the other person’s preparation,
reasoning, and seriousness. It’s a win-win for everyone.
6) I’m On It: You’re giving
your full attention. You’re saying, “Relax. Don’t worry about a thing.
I’ll see to it personally.” That response can disarm just about anyone. To
express a deeper commitment, use “You have my word.” This makes you more
accountable to someone, conveying that you’re on board and will make it happen…whatever
it takes.
7) How Else Can
I Help You: It takes guts
to speak up. People risk rejection, ridicule, or retaliation. Sure,
you’ve discussed one issue. Chances are, this was just a test balloon to
see how you’d react. This person probably wants to cover more; he’s just
hesitant to ask. Make it easy on him. Extend the proverbial “what can I do”
invitation to widen the conversation. And don’t be afraid to ask for help
occasionally, either. People love to lend a hand. It provides purpose. When
you’re humble and vulnerable, it humanizes you. It makes you one of them. And
people trust those with whom they can identify.
8) I’ve Got
Your Back: We’ve all made
big mistakes. When we’ve recognized the gravity, the same question
automatically pops up: “Am I getting fired for this?” It’s natural for
co-workers and reports to imagine worst case scenarios. In those times, step in
with a reassurance: “I’m not judging you. You’re going to get through this.
You’re not alone. We’ll figure this out together. It’s going to be OK.”
9) My Pleasure:
This subtle
reminder reinforces a key point. You’re here to help others. You have all the
time they need. And you’re happy to do it.
10) What If: Call it
whatever you want: Imagination, wonder, inspiration, or vision. It’s that “why
not” spirit that’s driven men and women to dream, create, and push limits. How
often do you channel this force to hit it off with others? When was the last
time you used a phrase like “How can we make this happen” or “Let’s try this
out?” Go ahead. Open the floor to everyone. Put every option on the table.
Don’t judge them based on budgetary, time, labor, or cultural considerations.
Sure, most ideas won’t be feasible or relevant. But you’re seeking that nugget
that makes your organization just a little more competitive and enjoyable. You
can find the means another time.
11) Let Me Play
Devil’s Advocate: Looking for a subtle way to critique? Turn the conversation into an
exercise where you’re a detached party performing a function: Poking holes in
the logic and plan of attack. Maybe you need to reel the other person back to
the big picture. Maybe you want to direct him towards missing pieces, pros and
cons, or alternatives. Either way, you use this strategy to stress test ideas
without making the process personal.
12) Let Me
Think About That: Yeah, it sounds like a cop out. And it is…sometimes. Fact is, we don’t
always have the authority or expertise to make decisions. This phrase buys you
time and breathing space. It intimates that you’re open-minded and the request
merits consideration. Then, set a date and time for follow up so the other
person knows you’re taking him serious.
13) Well Done: It’s a cliché,
no doubt. Sometimes, it isn’t enough just to say thanks. People want to know
what they did was great and why. They pour so much sweat and soul into their
projects. They need more than recognition that a task or goal was completed.
They need to know their work was special and had meaning to someone.
14) You’re
Right: Want to get
someone’s attention? Tell him that he’s right. Once you yield the high ground,
it’s much easier for the other party to swallow that the right plan and
sentiment can’t always overcome the absurdities and restraints we face every
day.
15) I
Understand: People have
such an innate desire to connect. They long to know they’re not alone,
seeking others who’ve been where they are – and have successfully made it
through. Helping someone doesn’t always involve making suggestions or calls. It
may just involve being there, paying attention to what a person has to say.
Most times, that’s enough to show you understand.
What phrases do
you use to make people feel more comfortable, motivated, and appreciated?
http://www.forbes.com/sites/jeffschmitt/2012/12/03/15-phrases-that-build-bridges-between-people/?utm_campaign=forbestwittersf&utm_source=twitter&utm_medium=social
Never criticize a man …:-))))
"Never
criticize a man until you've walked a mile in his moccasins." says Native
American Proverb
Ok, it is interesting to chop it off from the tail -->
Never criticize a
man until you've walked a mile….. --> add a little --->
Never criticize a man until you're in moccasins --->
Never criticize a man in moccasins-->
Never criticize a man until you're in moccasins --->
Never criticize a man in moccasins-->
Never criticize a
man ….--->
Never criticize…..
:-)))))))
Sunday, December 2, 2012
Frank Bolella- The Difference Between Success and Failure
The difference between succeeding and failing is miniscule.
Here's what I mean...
Here's what I mean...
Saturday, December 1, 2012
How To Motivate Yourself
Bruno Mars is not alone when he wakes up singing,
“Oh, today I don’t feel like doing anything. I just want to
lay in my bed.”
That’s just human nature, and some days it’s harder than
others to entice ourselves to get to the gym or drag on our running shoes like
crack fictional investigator Kinsey Millhone, who runs if only to be able to
eat Quarter Pounders whenever she feels like it.
But the one who wins the ongoing battle of wills within us
is ultimately the one that signals success or failure. And those who can
overcome that internal naysayer more often than not stand a better chance of
seeing successful results, no matter the mission.
I want it. I really, really want it.
Consider Ralphie from “A Christmas Story”. The holiday tale
about a boy on a mission starring Peter Billingsley has now become a cult
classic on TBS, in part from its marathon run on the cable network every
Christmas Eve, but also because of its heartwarming message about Christmas
dreams that do come true.
And when it comes to motivation, few can match the
determination and focus of Ralphie, who wanted nothing more for Christmas than
a Red Ryder BB gun, despite myriad warnings about the gun’s safety. He wrote
classroom essays about it, sat on a department store Santa’s lap to ask for it
and placed ads for the gun strategically throughout the house for it his mom
and dad to see in time for Christmas.
Ralphie was motivated to invest so much effort into enticing
his parents to buy him that gun because he was motivated by desire, and in the
big picture could imagine himself with his Red Ryder, chasing burglars away as
he starred in his own Wild West show, circa 1940.
For Ralphie, the gun itself was an external, or extrinsic
motivation, but the process of acquiring it was intrinsic motivation (or
internal) as the fantasies of owning it gave him so much pleasure that writing
essays seemed as if it was no work at all, even for a boy who viewed homework
as an elaborate plot to steal his young joy.
And through his efforts, Ralphie ultimately merged the two
main sources of motivation that drive virtually everything we do.
The same holds true for an Olympic hopeful, who strives to
be the best he or she can be in hopes of earning a bronze, silver, or gold
medal, but in working toward the goal sees intrinsic rewards in the lean, mean
fighting machine that he or she has become.
Most goals are reached by using both forms of motivation.
Intrinsic motivation: For the simple love of it
Those projects we tackle where we look up at the clock,
hours after we’ve started, and have no idea where the time has gone because we
were so involved – that feeling is intrinsic motivation, and wouldn’t the world
work better if all of us felt that way about everything we do?
Imagine saying, every day, I don’t go to work, I go play.
When looking at new challenges, seeing them in that light is a great way to
make them happen.
Seeing a challenge as a chance to become a better person is
an excellent motivator, whether it’s a gourmet cooking class, a math problem or
mastering a new dance move to look killer on the dance floor. The satisfaction
of success is an internal motivator, and is in itself the reward.
Extrinsic motivation: From the outside
For Olympic athletes, the idea of a gold medal at the end of
a lifetime of hard work and sacrifice is the driving force behind the action.
The idea that he or she is the best in the world, and has the endorsements –
and bling in the form of medals to show for it – is the reward that comes at
the end of a hard-won battle.
To motivate through workouts, we often have to envision
those rewards coming to fruition to make it happen, to find the strength to get
moving.
What’s in a reward?
But how do rewards in general motivate? Not so well, it
turns out. Studies have shown that although we all love it, it turns out that
money is not the best reward. A teenage girl who is offered $10 for every pound
she loses might be more inclined to see being able to fit in a great prom
dress, or land her dream date, as a better motivator than the money.
Once money enters into the picture, the task takes on the
illusion of work, and that is seen less favorably. One classic study asked
lawyers to help low-income people with their legal needs, some being offered a
very low wage for their services, others being asked to perform the services
for free. Turns out, the offer of money transformed the task from good deed to
work, and made that control group less likely to agree. The motivation wasn’t
money, it seems, but the good feelings that came from within for doing
something nice.
Threats of punishment also don’t work as motivation, it
seems. Instead of making people more inclined to work harder, the looming
threat of some form of punishment usually backfires. Nerves caused by the
thought of failure usually lead to more slipups and mistakes rather than less.
Fear is only a great motivator on a show like “Fear Factor,” and there, it’s
the money that’s the true motivator.
So what is the best motivator? That depends on the task at
hand.
How to get (and stay) motivated
To get you on the right track, consider the following tips:
Have a goal in mind.
Whether you want to fit into the same size clothes as you did at your
high school graduation or you want to be able to run with your kids, pets, or
grandkids at the park, the goal is the thing to keep in mind to help secure
positive results.
See and track improvements. Getting on the scale every
Monday to measure pounds lost or realizing that running a mile suddenly turned
into two miles without much extra effort can provide the impetus needed for
getting over hurdles of discouragement, sure to come no matter the goal.
Take a break. If you’ve been working really intensely,
you’ll be likely to be even more invested in the coming days if you take a day
to recover from a hard workout or take an afternoon to replenish energy stores
with a coffee break if you’ve been writing day and night trying to reach a big
deadline.
Focus on how seeing the goal to fruition will make you a
better person. The knowledge that comes from making good food choices or
learning which forms of exercise offer the best health benefits makes you a
better person. Knowledge is money.
Reward yourself. Many people find that by setting up rewards
as part of a process – new earrings for 10 pounds lost or new bike gear after
taking on that steep climb without stopping – will help make the road to
success just that. A real success.
The more motivation…the merrier
Everyone tends to have a dominant type of motivation.
For some folks, they could care less about attention,
accolades, and what other people think. They are motivated intrinsically. They
simply want what it is they want for their own reasons. People like this don’t
need to be carrot-and-sticked in order to achieve a goal.
On the other hand, you have those of us who are all about
the rewards, attention, and bling. We are extrinsically motivated. We want what
we want because of how it will make us look in the eyes of others. We have a
strong desire to be able to show off our awards, jewelry, or body. We like be
the envy of others, or at least receiving the praise of others.
So, does it matter whether you’re more intrinsically or
extrinsically motivated? Does being more motivated one way limit your success
and results?
No, not at all.
What matters is for you to know whether you’re more
motivated from within, or if you derive more of your motivation from external
factors.
You then take that knowledge and put it on steroids. Boost
your most dominant motivator until there’s little room left to improve it. But,
don’t stop there. After you’re done playing to your strength or dominant type
of motivation, spice up your weaker area. Think of how you can double your less
dominant type of motivation. Why? Because the more motivation you have and can
cultivate, the more success you’ll experience. And that’s the whole purpose of
motivation – to help you more easily and swiftly achieve your goal.
Whether your desire is to lose 20 pounds, sculpt gorgeous
abs, or increase your income by 100% within the next 6 months – motivation will
make it happen for you. Increase your motivation and you increase your results.
http://www.lifehack.org/articles/productivity/how-to-motivate-yourself.html
25 Simple Ways to Motivate Yourself
Feeling less than motivated all too often? I do. Well,
perhaps not too often. But sometimes I just feel really lazy and unmotivated.
Want some practical solutions to that universal
motivation-problem? Here are 25 of them. Try a handful.
Let me know which ones work well for you.
I’m sure you’ll find at least one or two that do just that
among these suggestions.
1. Make a deal with yourself. Good for overcoming
procrastination and getting things done. You can make the deal small or large.
You simple tell yourself something like: When I’m done with this chapter/these
reports I can take a walk in the park and enjoy an ice-cream.
2. Act like it. If you don’t feel motivated or enthusiastic
then act like it. The strange thing is that within a few minutes you actually
start to feel motivated or enthusiastic for real.
3. Ask uplifting questions in the morning. Here’s what you
do; every morning ask yourself five empowering three-part questions this way:
What am I ______ about in my life right now?
What about it makes me _______?
How does it make me feel?
Put in your own value in the blank space. For instance, a
couple of my questions are:
What am I happy about in my life right now?
What am I excited about in my life right now?
It’s important that you really feel how it makes you feel.
When I think about the last part about what makes me happy right now I really
feel it. These morning questions are great because the way they are set up
makes you recognize things you take for granted and then they really get you to
feel those positive feelings.
5. Do something small and create a flow. Just clean your
desk. Or pay your bills. Or wash the dishes. You just need to get started. When
you have finished that small task you’ll feel more alert and ready to go do the
next thing. You just to get started to get motivated. So if you really don’t
feel like doing anything, start with something small and work your way out up.
7. Start slow. Instead of jumping into something at full
speed start slow. When you do that your mind will not visualize the task as
something hard that you have to do fast, fast, fast. If your mind sees such
things guess what often happens? Yep, you don’t get started. Actually getting
started, even if it’s at a slow pace, is a whole lot better than not getting
started at all.
Reviewing your results is important so you see where you
have gone wrong in the past to avoid similar missteps further on. But it’s also
important because it’s a great motivator to see how much you have improved and
how far you have come. Often you can be pleasantly surprised when you do such a
review.
10. Act like your heroes. Read about them, watch them,
listen to them. Discover what they did that was special and what made them
tick. But remember that they are people just like us. So let them inspire you
instead of looking up at them admiringly.
11. Remember to have fun. Or create fun in a task. Then
you’ll stay motivated to do and finish it.
12. Get out of your comfort zone. Face your challenges to
get a real boost of motivation. If you are holding yourself back have a look at
5 Life-Changing Keys to Overcoming Your Fear and the methods in this article.
They can help you get started and take that first scary step outside your
comfort zone.
13. Don’t fear failure. Instead redefine it as feedback and
as a natural part of a successful life. As Michael Jordan said:
“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost
almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and
missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I
succeed.”
Also, try to find the valuable lesson(s) in each of your
failures. Ask yourself: What can I learn from this?
14. Do some research on what you are about to do. Then your
expectations will be more grounded in reality and you can also get good hints
on what difficulties that you might run into along the way. Managing your
expectations can lower the often almost explosive initial enthusiasm. But it
can also lessen the lack of motivation that usually follows when most of that
enthusiasm has dissipated.
When you know what has happened to others in similar
situations – what path they have walked – you can adapt and try their solutions
(and personal variations of those) and your own. This makes the worries and
challenges easier to handle. Both emotionally – since you know at least some of
the things that will happen and that others have lived through it before – and
practically.
15. Figure out why you are doing something. If you don’t
know or don’t have good enough reason to do something then it will be hard to
get it done. Do things that you have really strong reasons to do. If you want
to do something then figure out a good reason to do it. If you can’t find one
consider dropping it and doing something that you have a good reason to do
instead.
16. Write down your goals and reasons for working towards
them. Tape them on your wall, computer or bathroom mirror. Then you’ll be
reminded throughout the day and it becomes easier to stay on track and stay
focused.
17. Take The Positivity Challenge! Learn to think more
positively most of the time. Learn to let to go of negative threads of thought
before they have a chance to take hold of you. You might not be able to be
positive all the time no matter what happens. But I think most of us can
improve on our positive thinking and the results it can lead us to. Perhaps
more than you realize right now.
18. Cut down on TV. Do you watch it too much? Watch less of
what they are doing in TV-land and do more of what you want to do in life.
19. Break it down. Break down your task or project into
small steps. And just start with focusing on that first small step. When you
are done move on to the next and just focus on that one. The small successes
will keep your motivation up and keeping your focus away from the big picture
stops you from becoming overwhelmed and discouraged. It’s amazing how much you
can get done if you follow this simple method.
20. Reprogram your information intake. Program out negative
and cynical thoughts from the media and society. Reduce your information
intake. Then program in positive news and entertainment, more of your own
thoughts and useful information such as personal growth tapes and books. Be
selective and keep it positive.
21. Make use of your creativity. Take out a piece of paper.
Write at the top of the page what area in your life you would like to have more
ideas about. Perhaps you want ideas to earn more money or become a healthier
person. Then brainstorm until you have written down 20 ideas on that topic.
Then try for 10 more. Not all ideas will be good. But some will. And as you
make use of your creativity you not only discover useful ideas. You also
discover just how creative you can be if you try and how motivating and great
that feels. Have a look at 8 Ways to Spark Your Creativity for more ideas on
this topic.
22. Find out what makes you happy. Then do that. As much as
you want or can.
23. Listen while you’re on the move. Build your own small
library of motivational/personal development tapes. Listen to them while you
are driving, riding the bus or your bike, while you are out running or walking.
Take a peek at my recommended personal development products if you are looking
for a good place to start.
24. Think outside your box. Don’t imagine the future from
the box of what you have now. Just because your mind is in box of previous
experiences doesn’t mean that´s the limits of the world. Your possibilities
are much larger. Create the future from the now and from nothing rather than
your past to experience bigger changes with fewer limitations than you would if
you created it from what you can see from your box.
25. Make each day count. We don’t have all the time in the
world. So focus on today and do the things you really want to do.
http://www.positivityblog.com/index.php/2007/06/13/25-simple-ways-to-motivate-yourself/
14 Easy Ways to Get Insanely Motivated
Here's a column that I guarantee will make you more more
successful in both your professional and personal lives.
Here are 14 quick strategies to get and keep yourself
motivated:
1. Condition your mind. Train yourself to think positive
thoughts while avoiding negative thoughts.
2. Condition your body. It takes physical energy to take
action. Get your food and exercise
budget in place and follow it like a business plan.
3. Avoid negative people. They drain your energy and waste
your time, so hanging with them is like shooting yourself in the foot.
4. Seek out the similarly motivated. Their positive energy
will rub off on you and you can imitate their success strategies.
5. Have goals–but remain flexible. No plan should be cast in
concrete, lest it become more important than achieving the goal.
6. Act with a higher purpose. Any activity or action that doesn’t serve
your higher goal is wasted effort--and should be avoided.
7. Take responsibility for your own results. If you blame
(or credit) luck, fate or divine intervention, you’ll always have an excuse.
8. Stretch past your limits on a daily basis. Walking the
old, familiar paths is how you grow old. Stretching makes you grow and evolve.
9. Don't wait for perfection; do it now! Perfectionists are
the losers in the game of life. Strive
for excellence rather than the unachievable.
10. Celebrate your failures. Your most important lessons in
life will come from what you don't achieve. Take time to understand where you
fell short.
11. Don’t take success too seriously. Success can breed
tomorrow's failure if you use it as an excuse to become complacent.
12. Avoid weak goals.
Goals are the soul of achievement, so never begin them with "I'll
try ..." Always start with "I
will" or "I must."
13. Treat inaction as the only real failure. If you don’t take action, you fail by default
and can't even learn from the experience.
14. Think before you speak.
Keep silent rather than express something that doesn’t serve your
purpose.
http://www.inc.com/geoffrey-james/how-to-motivate-yourself-14-easy-ways.html
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