Now happiness is a universal value that everyone looks for
in their lives. No matter where you live, or what you do, chances are you're
doing the things in your life because you think it will bring you happiness.
So why are so many people unhappy? If we know what happiness
is and we know we want it, why aren't more of us there? How do we get to there?
Well, here's the first thing to be happy about, happiness
has already been figured out!
Thousands of studies that have been done by scientists all
around the world have shown that there are patterns that keep popping up. These
scientists have found the consistent way to achieve happiness and it's really
not that complicated.
You don't need a fancy degree or big brain or lots of money
to get to your happiness. You just need to do three basic things.
And as I go through each thing, I want you to take stock of
your life. I want you to ask yourself (be honest!) if you're doing these things
and, if not, how you can start today.
1) Be Grateful
The first thing we'll look at is gratitude.
Simple, right? Just be grateful. Actually, this is harder
than it looks.
Because life isn't perfect and our lives aren't perfect.
There are plenty of things that we wish we had more of, or less of. Hey,
there's always room for improvement. But starting with gratitude, being
grateful for what you have, is a key first step.
How can you be grateful? Start with awareness. Be aware of
what is around you, no matter how basic.
Be aware of standing on your two feet (not everyone does this),
being above ground (many people are no longer with us), eating three meals a
day (a luxury for many people around the world), and having a roof over your
head (you get the picture).
Be grateful for what you have, because you probably have a
lot compared to many people!
And keep that awareness, that gratitude, as you move through
your day. When you encounter things or people that don't go your way, be
grateful that you encountered them. Because those experiences have a lot to
teach you.
Think of a negative experience that you've had with a
co-worker. You're probably not grateful that you had that negative experience.
But think of all the things that encounter has taught you. You now know what
kind of person that co-worker is. You know how to handle that co-worker in
similar circumstances. And you know how to master your feelings the next time
you work with them. Those are three gifts that you didn't have before that
negative experience. Be grateful for that!
Life is going to throw you curveballs. But if you focus on
how you can't hit a curveball, as any baseball player will tell you, it's going
to get worse. So stay grateful and learn what you can within that gratitude.
2) Remain Engaged
The second important value to look at is engagement. How
engaged are you with the world and the tasks in your life?
I look at my two-year old son and I marvel at how engaged he
is with the world around him. He's discovering all these things around him.
When I watch him color or build with his blocks, you see the concentration in
his eyes. You can see the spark as he engages directly in what he's doing. He's
excited about the thing, anything, whatever it is.
And that's what you need to do. Stay engaged.
It's not easy. Actually it's sometimes downright boring. Our
minds wander or we prioritize something else. But resist that temptation to let
your mind wander to somewhere you think you'll be happier and stay engaged.
Stay engaged at work. Stay engaged in your conversations
with friends and co-workers. Stay engaged no matter what you're doing.
If you're disengaged, that sinking apathetic feeling will
consume you. You'll be missing that spark of life that you need to drive you
forward. Be a kid playing with the new world you've just discovered.
Be engaged.
3) Remain Optimistic
You know, optimism sometimes gets a bum rap. We think of
optimism as being chipper, or bubbly, or worse, completely unrealistic. But you
know what optimism truly is? It's just an anticipation of the future. A belief
in yourself that you can master what lies ahead.
You don't want to be the person that's already beaten before
they've begun. You know the kind. "Aw man," these people say, "I
have to work tomorrow... bleh."
We all know people like that. They're no fun to be around.
Don't be like them.
Take my buddy, Wayne. I've known him for 18 years. He is a
happy person. One look at him and you just know that he's a happy person. He's
always grateful. He's so present. And when he talks to you, even if there are a
million people around you, he makes you feel like you're the only person in the
room. He's directly engaged with you all the time. And he's always positive
about the future. He's happy.
Think about the people in your life. Especially the happy
ones. Are they grateful? Are they engaged? Are they anticipating the future?
Remaining optimistic about the future is no easy task. You
live in the present. And the past has already happened. But how you feel can
take you into the future on a cloud of confidence or slow you down like a
rainstorm.
The promise of the future and all that it holds should be
the thing to fuel you in your present. Optimism is the final piece of your
happiness that begins with being grateful and remaining engaged.
Remembering those three things (gratefulness, engagement,
and optimism) will be helpful to you on your path to happiness. But you must
practice these things regularly. You must actively decide to do these things or
they simply won't work.
Each piece supports the other. To be grateful, you must be
engaged. To be engaged, you must be optimistic. And to be optimistic, you must
be grateful for what you have and what you will have soon.
These things aren't easy to do, and you may not do them all
the time, but being aware of the importance of these three steps is a great way
to get to your happiness.
These are important steps to practice at work, at home, and
with every interaction that you have. Before long, it will become second nature
to you. And you'll have people coming up to you asking, "How do you stay
so... happy?
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