How to beat your worries

Keeping a mood
diary can help you
spot your worry
'triggers'

If you want to change your worry from a negative into a positive force, health consultant Theresa Francis-Cheung recommends five basic rules for dealing with your worry.

Step one: Find out if you are worried.
The initial step is to recognise if you suffer from worry.

Ask yourself these questions: Do you over-react to situations that don't normally bother you? Do you constantly think about things that scare you? Do you feel like whatever you do will be wrong? Are you always tired and have little energy? If the answers are all yes, you are most likely a classic worrier.

'Don't deny worry. Admit that you are worried and use that worry to propel yourself out of the situation you are in and to get to where you want to be,' says Theresa.

Step two: Find out what you are worried about.
You need to understand what you worry about. When you recognise your symptoms, ask yourself what triggered them off. Was it a particular problem or lots of little ones?

This might be a difficult task if you are the type of person who worries about everything. If so, it might help to keep a mood diary. By writing everything down you may be able to trace back to a particular event or situation that triggered your worries.

Recognising your worries can help you deal with them in future. The next time you feel worried you can say to yourself 'I know I worry in this situation but it doesn't mean anything bad will happen here.' This will make your fear seem more manageable and will help to reduce your worry.

Step three: Accept the things you cannot change.
Ask yourself it there is anything you can do about the situation or person that is making you worry. Do whatever you can to make the worry go away (see tips and tricks below).

Remember there are some things you cannot change, like worrying about the past or things that might happen in the future. 'This is just a waste of time and energy,' says Theresa.

If there is nothing you can do to change your worry, let it go! This sounds a lot easier than trying to do this in practise - worriers have real difficulty accepting their problems and moving on. But if your problem can be solved, move on to step four straight away as the longer you postpone making a decision, the more you will worry about it.

Step Four: Start problem solving.
Worriers have problems with making decisions and taking action, so be specific about your worries. Only try to solve the ones you have a chance of solving. For example, you can change a job you are unhappy about but you cannot change your height if you worry about being too short.

Think about what you can do to solve your problem. You might need to talk to someone else to get more advice - your friends, family or even a counsellor / therapist can help.

List as many options as you can for solving the problem. The more you have to choose from, the more likely you are to do something about it. When you are choosing a solution think

You can beat
your worries and live
positively

about why you are trying to solve this problem. Is it what you really want to happen or is it what you feel other people are expecting you to do?

If you are basing your decisions on other people's feelings or reactions, you could end up making your worry even worse.

Step Five: Put a solution into practice.
Once you have decided on a solution to your problem, do it! Worriers are terrified of making mistakes so they tend to delay making a decision in case it is the wrong one.

To put your solution into practice, be specific with your plan. Decide what will be done and who is involved.

For example, if you have been offered another job, you may worry about how your boss will react to the news. But if you rehearse telling your boss beforehand, it makes it less frightening when you come to do it in real life.

If the solution did not work, don't torture yourself trying to work out why and make yourself worry even more. Try to understand why it did not work and remind yourself that you have not failed.

'Congratulate yourself for having the courage to do something,' says Theresa. 'Doing something, anything at all, makes you feel that it is you, and not the worry, that is in control of your life.

The next time worry feels like it is putting your life on hold, try to turn it into a postive emotion. 'When you worry, think of it as a helpful signal telling you that something isn't quite right,' says Theresa. 'Try to associate worry not with anxiety, but with decision making. Worry can become a choice you make.'

Top ten tips to beat worrying
1. Most of the terrible things you worry about won't happen.
2. Remember that you are not alone - everyone worries.
3. Worrying about things is more frightening than doing them.
4. Take deep breaths every time you worry.
5. Think of worry as helpful. It can alert you to potential danger.
6. Don't think you have to be perfect.
7. Replace words like should, ought and must, with sometimes, either and or.
8. Reward yourself for your achievements.
9. Don't underestimate yourself.
10. Worry less and live more.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-97854/How-beat-worries.html