How To Defeat Worry

The fears you don’t face become your limits. And the doubts you don’t deal with become your walls. 

You really deserve to shatter your doubts and conquer the fears that prevent you from doing what you are built to do and having everything you want in life in 2012. And you really should not have to be spending the best hours of your days worrying (about things that generally don’t even happen). 

So, please watch and listen Robin Sharma's recording 10 minute training video called “How to Defeat Fear and Worry”. It’s super-practical. And it gives you his best tips on becoming fearless in your work and inside of your life. 

How to beat your worries

Keeping a mood
diary can help you
spot your worry
'triggers'

If you want to change your worry from a negative into a positive force, health consultant Theresa Francis-Cheung recommends five basic rules for dealing with your worry.

Step one: Find out if you are worried.
The initial step is to recognise if you suffer from worry.

Ask yourself these questions: Do you over-react to situations that don't normally bother you? Do you constantly think about things that scare you? Do you feel like whatever you do will be wrong? Are you always tired and have little energy? If the answers are all yes, you are most likely a classic worrier.

'Don't deny worry. Admit that you are worried and use that worry to propel yourself out of the situation you are in and to get to where you want to be,' says Theresa.

Step two: Find out what you are worried about.
You need to understand what you worry about. When you recognise your symptoms, ask yourself what triggered them off. Was it a particular problem or lots of little ones?

This might be a difficult task if you are the type of person who worries about everything. If so, it might help to keep a mood diary. By writing everything down you may be able to trace back to a particular event or situation that triggered your worries.

Recognising your worries can help you deal with them in future. The next time you feel worried you can say to yourself 'I know I worry in this situation but it doesn't mean anything bad will happen here.' This will make your fear seem more manageable and will help to reduce your worry.

Step three: Accept the things you cannot change.
Ask yourself it there is anything you can do about the situation or person that is making you worry. Do whatever you can to make the worry go away (see tips and tricks below).

Remember there are some things you cannot change, like worrying about the past or things that might happen in the future. 'This is just a waste of time and energy,' says Theresa.

If there is nothing you can do to change your worry, let it go! This sounds a lot easier than trying to do this in practise - worriers have real difficulty accepting their problems and moving on. But if your problem can be solved, move on to step four straight away as the longer you postpone making a decision, the more you will worry about it.

Step Four: Start problem solving.
Worriers have problems with making decisions and taking action, so be specific about your worries. Only try to solve the ones you have a chance of solving. For example, you can change a job you are unhappy about but you cannot change your height if you worry about being too short.

Think about what you can do to solve your problem. You might need to talk to someone else to get more advice - your friends, family or even a counsellor / therapist can help.

List as many options as you can for solving the problem. The more you have to choose from, the more likely you are to do something about it. When you are choosing a solution think

You can beat
your worries and live
positively

about why you are trying to solve this problem. Is it what you really want to happen or is it what you feel other people are expecting you to do?

If you are basing your decisions on other people's feelings or reactions, you could end up making your worry even worse.

Step Five: Put a solution into practice.
Once you have decided on a solution to your problem, do it! Worriers are terrified of making mistakes so they tend to delay making a decision in case it is the wrong one.

To put your solution into practice, be specific with your plan. Decide what will be done and who is involved.

For example, if you have been offered another job, you may worry about how your boss will react to the news. But if you rehearse telling your boss beforehand, it makes it less frightening when you come to do it in real life.

If the solution did not work, don't torture yourself trying to work out why and make yourself worry even more. Try to understand why it did not work and remind yourself that you have not failed.

'Congratulate yourself for having the courage to do something,' says Theresa. 'Doing something, anything at all, makes you feel that it is you, and not the worry, that is in control of your life.

The next time worry feels like it is putting your life on hold, try to turn it into a postive emotion. 'When you worry, think of it as a helpful signal telling you that something isn't quite right,' says Theresa. 'Try to associate worry not with anxiety, but with decision making. Worry can become a choice you make.'

Top ten tips to beat worrying
1. Most of the terrible things you worry about won't happen.
2. Remember that you are not alone - everyone worries.
3. Worrying about things is more frightening than doing them.
4. Take deep breaths every time you worry.
5. Think of worry as helpful. It can alert you to potential danger.
6. Don't think you have to be perfect.
7. Replace words like should, ought and must, with sometimes, either and or.
8. Reward yourself for your achievements.
9. Don't underestimate yourself.
10. Worry less and live more.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-97854/How-beat-worries.html

Robin Sharma - personal development tools

Personal development expert and bestselling International author Robin Sharma shares tools on how to live a great life.

6 Free Tools to Kickstart your Personal Development

Personal development takes a lot of time, but it doesn’t have to be financially costly. Therapy, seminars, and group work can be really helpful if you want to include them in the process, but you can also do plenty of helpful things for free. Times are tough right now, and it’s even more important to stay in touch with our internal selves when things in the external world are difficult and challenging.
Here are a few free resources you can start using today:

Journalling
Journalling can take many forms. Writing by hand can be more personal than typing, but you can also use word processing software or online services like 750 words or Penzu. Journalling can include, but isn’t limited to, stream of consciousness writing, recording dreams, focusing on a specific topic or person, or completing exercises.
The type and content of journalling is a personal preference. What’s really important is to try and journal regularly so that you devote time every day, few days or week to yourself. Sometimes regular journalling might feel like a chore, but exploring this feeling in itself is a helpful process. It is fascinating to look back at what you have recorded several months later: as well as revealing patterns in your thoughts or feelings doing this can also show you how far you’ve come since then.

Podcasts
Podcasts on personal development, meditation, psychology and relationships are readily available through the iTunes store and websites like Podomatic. ITunesU also gives you access to university lectures on these topics, all for free. Listening to podcasts doesn’t involve activity in the same way journalling does, but the right podcasts are still thought-provoking and open you up to new ideas.

Websites and blogs
Whether you find it helpful to explore information websites or read about about other people’s personal experiences with self work through their blogs, online content can be a great resource for inspiration. As well as traditional written content, websites like YouTube host an ever-expanding number of videos on relevant topics.

Books
‘Books aren’t free!’ you think. Valid point. However, if you’re within striking distance of a local library then check out their selection. If you still can’t find the book you’re looking for, search using Amazon’s second-hand marketplace. This isn’t technically free but you can find heavily discounted copies of first-class books for your collection.

Meditation
Like journalling, meditation is another way of devoting time to yourself each day or week. It can help develop mindfulness, presence in and awareness of what’s happening here and now. Regular meditation also provides a gateway for new thoughts to come through – thoughts that usually might be crowded out by everyday life. Most of all, meditation is a way to clear your mind of baggage and clutter, and is particularly helpful if you want to focus on specific themes or patterns.

Social media
Personal development can be a lonely process. Sometimes thoughts or feelings come up that can challenge you or people around you. The Internet is a great way to meet others who are on a similar journey, and online communities can be a source of inspiration, reassurance and support. The Internet does come with it’s own risks, so taking basic precautions like using a pseudonym and not giving out personal details like name and address can help you make the most of online support and stay safe.

Can you think of any other tools for personal development on a budget? Share your ideas in the comments below.
http://www.becomingwhoyouare.net/2012/09/6-free-tools-to-kickstart-your-personal-development/
Picture is courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos 

Brian Tracy - Personal Development & Attracting Success

Brian Tracy talking about faith, setting goals, how to get rich, increasing your probability in becoming healthy, wealthy, successful.

How to Break Bad Habits

Tips for Breaking Bad Habits and Developing Good Habits

Most of life is habitual. You do the same things you did yesterday, the day before and every day for the last month. It’s estimated that out of every 11,000 signals we receive from our senses, our brain only consciously processes 40.

Habits, good or bad, make you who you are. The key is controlling them. If you know how to change your habits, then even a small effort can create big changes.

I’ve been using these techniques for years to re-engineer many aspects of my life. That includes overhauling my diet, exercising regularly, cutting out television, and bulking my e-mail and work routines. Little changes that, when put on autopilot, can result in an improved quality of life.

Here are some tips to get you started:

One Habit For 30 Days – Steve Pavlina, popularized the 30 Day Trial. You focus on one change for thirty days. After that time it has been sufficiently conditioned to become a habit. I’ve used this as the basis for most of my habit changes. It definitely works to sculpt the automatic programs that run in the background of your mind.

Use a Trigger – A trigger is a short ritual you perform before a habit. If you wanted to wake up earlier this might mean jumping out of bed as soon as you hear the sound of your alarm. If you wanted to stop smoking this could be snapping your fingers every time you feel the urge for a cigarette. A trigger helps condition a new pattern more consistently.

Replace Lost Needs – If you opened up your computer and started removing hardware, what would happen. Chances are your computer wouldn’t work. Similarly, you can’t just pull out habits without replacing the needs they fulfill. Giving up television might mean you need to find a new way to relax, socialize or get information.

One Habit at a Time – A month may seem like a long time to focus on only one change, but I’ve found trying to change more than a few habits at a time to be reckless. With just one habit change you can focus on making it really stick. Multitasking between three or four often means none become habits.

Balance Feedback – The difference between long-term change and giving up on day 31 is the balance of feedback. If your change creates more pain in your life than joy, it is going to be hard to stick to. Don’t go to the gym if you hate it. Find diets, exercise, financial plans and work routines that are fun to follow and support you.

“But” to Kill Bad Thoughts – A prominent habit-changing therapist once told me a great way to nuke bad thinking. Anytime you feel yourself thinking negatively about yourself, use the word “but” and point out positive aspects. “I’m lousy at this job – but – if I keep at it I can probably improve.”

Write it Down – Don’t leave commitments in your brain. Write them on paper. This does two things. First, it creates clarity by defining in specific terms what your change means. Second, it keeps you committed since it is easy to dismiss a thought, but harder to dismiss a promise printed in front of you.

30, 90, 365 – I’d like to say most habits go through a series of checkpoints in terms of conditioning. The first is at thirty days. Here it doesn’t require willpower to continue your change, but problems might offset it. At ninety days any change should be neutral where running the habit is no more difficult than not running it. At one year it is generally harder not to run the habit than to continue with it. Be patient and run habits through the three checkpoints to make them stick.

Get Leverage – Give a buddy a hundred bucks with the condition to return it to you only when you’ve completed thirty days without fail. Make a public commitment to everyone you know that you’re going to stick with it. Offer yourself a reward if you make it a month. Anything to give yourself that extra push.

Keep it Simple – Your change should involve one or two rules, not a dozen. Exercising once per day for at least thirty minutes is easier to follow than exercising Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Fridays with yoga the first day and mountain biking the third day, except when it is raining in which case you will do… Simple rules create habits, complex rules create headaches.

Consistency is Key – The point of a habit is that it doesn’t require thought. Variety may be the spice of life, but it doesn’t create habits. Make sure your habit is as consistent as possible and is repeated every day for thirty days. This will ensure a new habit is drilled in, instead of multiple habits loosely conditioned.

Experiment – You can’t know whether a different habit will work until you try it. Mix around with key habits until you find ones that suit you. Don’t try to follow habits because you should, but because you’ve tested them and they work in your life.

Post Your Change Here – Pick a change you want to work on and post it right here in the comments. You’ll get the benefits of writing it down and making a public commitment. The best time to start is right now.

There is no better way to break bad habits than knowing you have the confidence to do so. Confidence is the key to a well lived life.

http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/strategies-for-breaking-bad-habits-and-cultivating-good-ones/

How to Sleep Better

How to Stop Procrastinating

6 simple steps to conquer procrastination

“Procrastination is the thief of time.”

-Edward Young, English poet (1683-1765)

I procrastinated in writing this article.  Seriously.  I admit it.

At times, wanting to get things “just right,” I’ll slip into procrastination: making lists, jotting down ideas, checking emails, clicking on links to websites in my bookmarks toolbar…  and so forth.  Worried about how something will turn out, I’ll simply slow down or will be more prone to distraction. That was the case with this post – and as the Edward Young quotation so aptly captures, time was definitely stolen – or more accurately, wasted.

Procrastination isn’t usually a problem for me, but 20% of the U.S. population are chronicprocrastinators, according to Dr. Joseph Ferrari of DePaul University in Chicago.  That fact means that procrastination and the ensuing reduction in productivity are significant problems in the U.S. . It gets worse:  studies have shown that college students who procrastinate are more apt to get sick from colds, the flu and gastrointestinal problems.

What can I do?

If you sometimes procrastinate, you might gain some insight into why you do so by understanding the three basic types of procrastinators; they are:

• The thrill seeker who looks forward to the rush he or she gets when facing last-minute deadline pressure
• The avoiders – those who avoid completing tasks for fear of failure or success and who are especially worried about what others think of them.  Perfectionists fall into this category  (this is me)
• Decisional procrastinators – those who simply can’t make a decision; not making a decision relieves this type of procrastinator responsibility for the outcome of events

No matter what type of procrastinator you are, there are six simple steps you can take to address this issue…

1. Set clear goals

As you approach projects and tasks, set clear goals for their completion. Using this post as an example, my goal could simply be:  complete a first draft by Sunday evening, revise Monday evening, schedule for publication at 4AM on Tuesday.  My clear goal would be to have the post completed and final by Monday evening.

If you don’t know where you’re going, how are you going to get there?  Set clear, definitivegoals. Your goals should be specific, measurable, and time-bound (i.e., have a clear completion date and/or time.)  And having done this, stick to those goals.

2. Eliminate distractions

We all have WAY too many distractions every day.  Only you know exactly what works for you, but here are a few things to consider:

• Turn off all electronic alarms for email, SMS, etc.
• Log off your email account
• If working on your computer, have just one program or browser tab open – unless your work requires research & multiple tabs
• Close the door
• Ditch the iPod, iTunes, and anything else that’ll distract you
• Forward your phone into voicemail
• Shut off your Blackberry…

…and so forth.  In short, reduce the number of potential distractions so you can FOCUS.

3. Stop worrying about perfection

Face it:  it’s not going to be perfect.  Things in life rarely are.  Better to hammer out a rough draft and revise later than spin your wheels for hours.  Instead of worrying about how others will react to your work, recognize that you’ll be disappointed in yourself if you don’t get the work done or do a poor job because you procrastinated…  and in the larger scheme of things, that disappointment will sting far worse than any other.

4. Don’t lie to yourself

Sometimes we’ll tell ourselves little lies like, “I’ll be much better equipped to jump on this early tomorrow morning,” or “There’s not enough pressure on me to do this now – I’ll wait till tomorrow, or the day after.”  All we accomplish when we lie to ourselves like this is to waste our best resource – time. Don’t lie to yourself!  You aren’t kidding anyone.  Stop lying, start doing, and you’ll feel better about yourself.

5. Break it into pieces

One of the oldest axioms out there, but it’s true:  break the task into smaller chunks and tackle one at a time.  For this post, it could be something like:  a) create a rough outline of the post; b) conduct research; c) write a rough draft.  By turning it into a series of smaller pieces, the task becomes more manageable.  Focusing on the first, smaller step of a project makes the entire task less daunting, and makes it easier to start.

6. Do it NOW!

“A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.”

-Lao Tzu, founder of Taoism (~200 BC)

Having done steps 1-5, what remains is simple:  START.  Do it now. As is the case with many things we fear, once underway, it’s not all that bad.  And if you stay focused, you’ll get a lot done quickly.  Getting started is the tough part; simply do it now.

Other tactics & issues

A few other tactics which should help you banish procrastination:

• Make your goals public. Tell your spouse, your boss, your coworkers – whoever’s relevant & appropriate – of your goal(s).  Doing so will help make you a bit more accountable for following through on your commitment.
• Know your “tells.” In poker, a tell is a nervous tic or habit that signals your intentions.  Know your tells when it comes to procrastination.  Perhaps your mouse mysteriously begins to approach your email icon.  Perhaps you begin thinking about getting a soda or cup of coffee.  When you catch yourself in a tell, resist the temptation to walk away from the task.  Keep going!
• Finally, realize that you can get a great deal done in 15 minutes. As you start, commit to work away for 15 minutes without stopping.  Use a timer if you have to.  You’ll be amazed at how much you can accomplish in just 15 minutes of focused activity.

I hope you’ve found this article helpful.  If there are strategies you’ve employed to beat procrastination, please share them with other readers by commenting.  Thanks for stopping by!

http://www.practicalhacks.com/2008/12/02/six-simple-steps-to-conquer-procrastination/

10 Simple Ways to Improve Your Sleep

“Electricity, the widespread use of the light bulb, the discovery of fire, and the advent of agriculture, are a point of no return in human history. One hundred years ago, in 1910, the average adult was sleeping approximately ten hours a night. Now the average adult is lucky to get a solid six. We are meant to sleep half our lives and now we only sleep 1/3-1/4 lives. We develop heart disease, cancer, depression and diabetes when we do not sleep 9.5 hours a night at least seven months out of the year.”- T.S. Wiley.

1. Eat a blood sugar balancing diet:
One of the main reasons people wake up in the middle of the night has to do with a poor diet that is low inhealthy fatsand adequate proteins. While working with my clients, I see that once they switch away from a low-fat, high carb diet they can easily sleep through the night without blood sugar swings. Lower carb and ketogenic diets have been shown to be helpful for sleep disorders and many other neurological conditions.

2. Have a technology free bedroom: 
Have you ever been in a blackout or been camping and notice that all you want to do is sleep? Humans are hardwired to sleep when it is dark outside but during our modern lives we seldom experience darkness. If we keep smart devices out of the bedroom we improve sleep quality. This is a challenging for most people because we are using our I-pads and Kindle’s by our beds. These devices disrupt our primal circadian rhythms by putting out flashing artificial light. These signal to our brain that it is daytime which is why it is so hard to go to sleep once we start using a computer, tablet or iPhone late at night.

Wireless devices also emit electromagnetic frequency that is an additional stressor on our fragile systems that have so many other toxins to contend with. The full impact of EMF’s are slowly becoming evident in the mainstream, but surely spending 15-16 hours a day with your phone close to your side is enough. EMF’s can block the release of sleep hormone melatonin leading to insomnia. Many scientists believe that excess exposure to electro-magnetic fields can be linked to cancer, weight gain, infertility, birth defects, ADD/ADHD and migraines, and many other chronic conditions. A drastic step is to get rid of Wi-fi all together but at least make sure it is not in the bedroom with you and turn off your router at night to decrease EMF exposure.

Give your body a break and put your phone/alarm clock out in the living room. You will still hear it ringing and even better you will have to get out of bed to turn it off. Get an old fashioned wind up clock like this one, which uses no electricity or batteries. Be aware that plug in alarm clocks have red/green lights that can disrupt sleep. Cover the tiny lights on the TV or DVD player also. Your best bet is to plug everything into a power strip and turn it all off with one switch when you are going to sleep.

3. Go to sleep by 10 pm:
We can age 4 times faster when we disregard the day and night cycles. By staying up past 10 pm in artificial light our body thinks it is summer and craves sugar. We make extra cortisol when we stay up late making us insulin resistant creating a spare tire around our middles. If you go to bed past midnight you have missed two hours of the physical repair cycle which builds and preserves muscle. Staying up a little later in the summer is okay and how our bodies are designed. Below is a great video by Sean Croxton of Underground Wellness explaining why we need more sleep.

4. Do not look at the clock in the middle of the night:
The hormone dopamine is released in the brain when we try to figure out what time it is and we will stay awake an extra half an hour. Blinking lights like TV, computer, and mobile phones all signal to your body that it is time to get up. Checking your email or Facebook in the middle of the night will increase your stress and inhibit you from falling back asleep. Also try to avoid turning on the light when you go to the bathroom in the night.

5. Eat with the season:
Leptin is a very important weight regulating hormone that tells us when to stop eating. We are supposed to gain 20 or 30 lbs during the warm season to survive winter. When we get fatter than 20 or 30 pounds we lose leptin sensitivity, which would only happen in summer during most of human history. The abundance of carbohydrate foods all year and artificial light dulls our senses. We constantly crave carbs because endless day light from our homes makes our bodies think it is year round summer. If it is not summer it may be a good idea to lower your carbohydrate intake and when you do eat carbs let them be low sugar fruits like berries or nutrient dense starches like sweet potatoes or squashes.

6. Get black out curtains:
I have several layers of dark curtains over my windows to keep out the city lights. The tiniest bit of artificial light reduces melatonin by 80%. It has been shown that even small night lights can disrupt children’s sleep and cognitive development.

7. Sleep in earplugs and eye mask:
In the middle of the San Francisco there are constantly car alarms and people screaming at all hours. I won’t take a risk with my sacred sleep time. By using earplugs and an eye mask I have the best likely hood of staying asleep all night. Another consideration is your wonderful pet that can be disrupting your slumber. Finding restful sleep with or without your pet in the room will make you a better owner the next day. Babies are another story all together, but I do know that when following a nourishing WAPF/ Paleo/traditional diet, mothers and babies are more likely to avoid illness, food allergies and sleep better through the night

8. Read a real book before bed:
Mimick EMDR, by reading a real “paper” book makes your eyes go back and fourth which is very calming and this hypnotizing motion will put you to sleep quickly. Make sure to use a low watt light bulb by the bed not an overhead light which would simulate sun and confuse your natural rhythms. If you do use your laptop around bedtime it is a good idea to download Flux which will tone down the bright lights from your screen.

9. Avoid stimulants:
Do you reach for a coffee to get you through the afternoon? Caffeine stimulates the sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight) which over time can tire out the adrenal glands and cause us to gain weight. Drinking caffeine after lunch will increase cortisol and make it hard for you to wind down for bed. Caffeine stays in the body for 12 hours which will disrupt the psychological repair portion of the sleep cycle. Most people I know (including myself) need as much psychological repair as they can get!

Does 3pm coffee send you into orbit?

10. Drink plenty of pure water
When we are dehydrated our body produces stress hormones that will keep us awake at night. I recommend drinking water all through the day so you are not playing catch up and then needing to go to bathroom at all hours. Choose a great water filter to remove heavy metals and chlorine. Always avoid plastic bottles when drinking water to reduce BPA exposure that can disrupt weight regulating hormones. The solution to pollution is dilution according to health guru- Paul Chek.

http://www.grassfedgirl.com/10-simple-ways-to-improve-your-sleep/

11 Reasons Why Women Are Unhappy !

Over the past century, women’s social and family life has changed a lot. For the better or worse, women nowadays enjoy more things in life than 100 years ago. Not all changes are good, but they are not bad either. No matter how dynamic life becomes every day, women have proven themselves to be capable of coping with almost every challenge life throws at us.

But, women are not immune to unhappiness. They, like men, have their share of good 

and bad experiences which either toughens them up or makes them quit. Life is able to 

teach us valuable lessons no matter what gender or age we are. Here are 11 reasons 

why women are unhappy even though social life has changed in the last century.

1. Inequality with men

There is no way of avoiding this issue. The role of women in 

society has changed a lot in the 20th century. They have 

proven themselves to the world that they are capable of hard 

work and devotion. When men were fighting two world wars, 

women 

stayed behind working in the factories, working in the fields 

and taking care of the family. Their efforts were noticed and 

slowly but surely equality was established. But even after so 

many years, a lot of women feel unequal in many aspects of 

social life, and that makes them unhappy.

2. Work and Housework

Taking care of the housework is not easy when you have a day 

job. It is hard for a woman to be at work half a day then return 

home and continue with the house work. All those assignments 

put a lot of pressure on women’s stamina and health, ergo 

unhappiness.

3. Passive Husbands

Some husbands can be very insensible when it comes to 

taking care of the children or helping around the house 

chores. It is the wife responsibility to change the dippers, 

turn on the laundry, clean the house and etc. Since most of 

the husbands feel that those are women’s work, they become

 passive and leave everything to them.

4. The women are less paid than men

It is unethical for women to be paid less than men for the 

same assignments at work. Those things are unacceptable 

in companies and bosses often end up with lawsuits if they 

pay women less than men for the same job description. 

Unfortunately, some companies are still doing that and get 

away with it.

5. Men are less paid than women

Yes, even thins can be a problem for a woman. In a 

relationship or in a marriage, when the woman is more paid 

than the man, that seems to cause a problem for the man 

since he is not THE alpha male in the relationship. Their 

unhappiness starts to reflect the woman’s satisfaction. 

In time that bad energy transfers to them and results in 

arguing, problems at home and etc.

6. Men let women pay for romantic dinners

No matter how much money she makes or he makes, it is a 

traditional non-written rule for the man to pay for dinner. 

Nowadays, insensitive men grow like mushrooms and expect 

the women to pay for every meal they have. Now that is 

totally not-gentlemen like.

7. Trouble to cope with obesity

Women are more sensitive about their looks then men. 

For some reason, there are a lot of men who don’t mind 

being fat or have extra pounds on their hips. Some women 

find that to be attractive after all.

But rarely there is a woman that doesn’t want to have a sexy 

body. Even those who say they don’t mind the extra pounds 

think about losing weight. Obesity leads to unhappiness as 

women try very hard to lose pounds and have an attractive 

body. Some don’t have that problem, others do.

8. Boredom

Women are not immune to boredom. Just like men, they are 

exposed to regular boredom that comes from monotony 

and repeated habitual actions. If boredom continues, then 

unhappiness will be knocking on the door.

Boredom causes a lot of hours spend in front of the TV 

watching meaningless programs. That kind of leisure time 

can easily lead to obesity and another cause for unhappiness.

9. Hanging out with the same people day after day

Don’t get this reason the wrong way. Friends are healthy, 

they are always great company and can help you in when you 

need them, but sometimes they can be a bit too boring for you.

Women should expand their circles of friends and 

acquaintances so they don’t end up talking to three or four 

people only. Not all weekends should be spent with the same

 people over and over again. Various people bring 

various experiences and events.

10. Break Ups

When relationships have unfortunate ending, the women are 

those that feel the greatest emotional impact. They are the 

ones that need more time heal the wounds from a break up.

 It is in men’s nature not to expose their emotions in public; 

it is their nature to be able to ignore those human emotions 

that cause tears in women’s eyes.

Unhappiness of a bad break up is regular in every woman’s 

life. Once you get emotionally attached to a person, it is hard 

to let those feelings go once a relationship has broken up. 

Women find it hard to change the life from being in a relationship to being single.

11. Single life

Even though there are ones of women nowadays that prefer the 

single life more than the married life, they do end up some 

nights going to sleep alone and wake up alone in bed 

wondering why that is.

The fear of being bounded by marriage keeps them 

away from matrimony and single life seems much more exciting 

than ever, but once every “single” friend they have starts getting 

married, starts a family, they start seeing the changes. Every friend’s 

family life presents her with the joys of having a family no matter

how tough it may seem. Single women are often unhappy because they haven’t found the love of

 their life … yet.

http://www.femalefatal.com/11-reasons-why-women-are-unhappy/

Open Up and Lead

This week we found out that the federal government tracks every phone call we make. On the one hand, it’s unsettling. On the other, if it helps stop terrorist attacks, it’s worth it. In some ways what was most disturbing about the revelation was its secrecy. Our instinctive response is mistrust: our government wasn’t being open with us. And we all want open leaders.

That’s the lesson in business for companies that are striving to recruit and retain the best talent. When leaders are honest and forthcoming, people feel respected, engaged and invested in the enterprise. Unfortunately, too many leaders still don’t get it: open leadership is the foundation of 21st century success. We live in the age of the individual (some might say narcissist) and old-style, top-down, command-and-control leadership just doesn’t work. It makes employees feel devalued and wary. Just the opposite of what success demands: active, fulfilled employees who are bringing their full talents to work every day.

How can a leader achieve this open ideal?

1) Open door: Everyone in the organization should have access to their leaders. Leaders who welcome input change the entire atmosphere of an organization. Keep your door open, it’s a powerful metaphor for an open organization. And when someone walks through it, no matter who they are, welcome them.

2) Open mind: Brilliant ideas can come fromanywhere in an organization. Open leaders listen carefully, welcome off-the-wall suggestions, and understand that clinging to the status quo will soon leave you behind the curve. Refresh and renew your consciousness. Take a class, talk to a consultant, explore a museum. Stretch your mind – like a muscle, it will grow stronger.

3) Open laptop: Many leaders still don’t grasp the power and necessity of engaging and enabling online. Find ways to integrate social media, expert networks, videos, forums, and blogging into your leadership toolkit. This is where employees live nowadays – open leaders must join them.

4) Open standards: Your mission must be stated, but more importantly it must be lived. You have to treat everyone by the same rules. And when a challenge arrives, keep people informed. Nothing undermines morale more than whispers and favoritism.

5) Open heart: All great leaders transcend the sometimes prosaic demands of their organizations and reach people on an emotional level. Make a list of the five leaders you most admire. Bet they all touch something in your heart and soul. I’m not talking about turning your company into a group therapy session, or saying you have to dispense hugs (though hugs can be a very effective leadership tool if done in a way that makes sense to objectives of course), but open leaders aren’t afraid to show some heart in how they lead.

All five of these Open Leadership tools must be employed with sincerity and follow-through. Paying lip service is worse than doing nothing. It’s hollow and people see right through it.

Most successful companies born in the Internet Age practice open leadership. Think of Google , Quicken, Zappos, and Facebook  just for starters. Openness is baked into their business and social media model. The old closed system of leaders hiding out in their executive suites is a relic of another age. Why? Because it just doesn’t work in these connected, open times we live in.

So open up and lead and build this into your company culture. What are you waiting for? 

http://www.forbes.com/sites/meghanbiro/2013/06/09/open-up-and-lead/