How to Build a Personal Brand

What is brand? Often even marketing professionals don't have an answer for this simple question. Some define a brand as a name, sign, or symbol used to identify items or services of the seller to differentiate them from the competition. Others define a brand as a promise or a pledge to deliver satisfaction and quality. A brand has also been defined as a set of assets linked to a name or symbol that adds value to the end user. Confused? Indeed, the word "brand" has many definitions.

To me, the best definition of a brand is "a collection of perceptions" that is designed to influence a customer or an end-user. As such, whether you are an executive at a Fortune 500 company, the owner of a small business, an electrician or a recent college graduate, creating a strong personal brand may be the difference between success and failure, between getting that job or not getting that job.

No matter where you are in your career, with the surge of social media, you not only have the ability, but you have the need to manage your brand, both online and in real life. Remember, a brand is the emotional and psychological relationship one has with customers, employers, employees, etc. Strong brands elicit opinions, emotions, and physiological responses.

Your goal in building your strong personal brand is to develop positive perception associated with your name. Perceptions such as honest, smart, eager, inventive, forward looking, team player, expert, etc.. are all important traits that employers look for in their employees. As you build your brand, think of your strengths and weaknesses, look at the traits in which you not only excel at, but need to elaborate on to enhance your brand.

Even when developing a personal brand, logos are an important as they are a representation of the brand. Logos are the "shortcut" to the brand. Clearly logos evoke emotion, when we see the Starbucks circle, we think of freshly brewed coffee, looking at AFLAC, we think of that crazy duck, and so on. Think of a simple logo that you would like people to associate with you and your brand. Logos for personal brands should be simple, clear and understated. Most individuals choose to use either a small geometric figure, their initials or just their name in a particular font as their personal brand logo. A logo makes your card, CV and emails stand apart from the others. Remember, your personal brand is most likely your name, and perhaps a tagline, such as financial executive or marketing expert, and so on.

Given brands are not concrete, but are the thoughts, feelings, and psychological relationships between two or more parties, your brand is the foundation of all your marketing activities, determining the position and strength of your entire marketing framework. Just like a house foundation needs to be strong to hold up a building, your marketing foundation must be solid. In other words, your brand must be the truth and it must be about you.

Personal branding yields both internal and external benefits. Externally, you create an identity that resonates with employers, potential employers and customers. Your brand needs to form emotional relationships with the people you are trying to reach. This is important because often people don't buy products or hire individuals based on logic, they often act based on their emotions and perceptions.

Your personal brand should act as an internal compass, driving you in the correct direction in all your actions. Every action you take will either reinforce or weaken your personal brand. A clear personal brand will set a clear understanding of what you are about.

Your personal brand is defined by all your actions. Your personal brand is the sum of many factors such as the clothing that you wear, your body language, the way you handle yourself in business and in personal activities, your personal style i.e. grooming, hair style etc.

There are several key steps on how to successfully build your personal brand.
Step one- Research and reflection. Before you develop your brand, you must define your core values, mission and goals. You need to analyze your audience and competition and establish your uniqueness, i.e. what makes you different from the competition. A solid brand will make you standout, giving you an advantage over competition. While this may be a subtle advantage, it is indeed an advantage.

Your personal brand is defined by all your actions. It is the sum of many factors such as the clothing that you wear, your body language, the way you handle yourself in business and in personal activities, your personal style i.e. grooming, hair style etc. and the people who you associate with. Take care in this step, as it is the foundation to your brand. Remember, your personal brand is basically the way you market yourself to the world.
In sum, the first step of developing a personal brand is simply defining who you are and what message do you want to deliver.

Step two- Define your logo and tagline. Once you determine personal brand, including your unique selling proposition, then define your tagline and logo. As discussed previously, your logo should be simple and understated, preferably your initials or a geometric design. Regardless of what type of logo you use, once it is developed, use it everywhere and anywhere. Use it in all your social media profiles, use it on your letterhead, your business cards (yes, order good quality personal business cards), email signatures, any press releases, etc. Your goal is to have people recognize your logo, hence your brand and your name.

Please don't get hung up on finding and thinking about a logo, a monogram or your name in simple text may be perfect. Indeed, the simpler the better. No matter what you choose, it is important that you stay consistent. For instance, if you determine your name will be in a certain font in a certain color, make sure this is the case all your communications i.e. your letterhead for your resume and cover letter, your digital signature and so on.
As stated earlier, a logo is a shortcut to your brand. Just think of logos, such as a swoosh, an apple, and good ole Col. Sanders, and think how quickly Nike, Apple, and KFC come to mind.

Your tagline should be several words that you believe describe you, professionally. Your tagline should be a very brief title or summary. In my career, I use several taglines: global financial executive, global banking expert, an accomplished author, or cost-saving specialist depending on the audience I want to reach. Warning: It is imperative to use this approach with extreme caution, as you do not want to confuse your audience, which may dilute the power of your brand. Your personal brand statement is merely a more detailed tagline, a sentence or two describing you and how you want the public to know you.

Step three -Develop your online reputation. Create a personal website tied to your first and last name. Use your logo and branding here. If you do not have a personal website, this is a must. It is cheaper and easier than many people think. Please look to future newsletters on how to create a personal website. As sure as the sun is going to rise tomorrow, your potential customers and employers will search your name to gather information on you, your personality, your career history, education and personal life, etc. After all, we all "Google" the people that we meet or speak to over the course of the day, especially those whom we want to impress or get to know better.
Build a solid brand name with online activities that will promote your personal mission, highlight your career achievements and illustrate your goals for the future. Just as it is important to build a positive brand, is equally, if not more important to protect yourself against any negatives factors influencing your brand.

Scrub your name, clean. It never ceases to amaze me how many people ignore this very important step. Start by reviewing the various social media sites in which you participate. Remember, you are no longer that 16-year-old wanting to impress your friends, enemies, and the "love of your life". Make sure that these sites are scrubbed of anything, repeat anything, that could negatively influence your reputation. Look at postings, pictures, tweets, and any other activity that would be viewed negatively. Remember, potential customers or employers may not look favorably at that picture of you and your buddies guzzling beer out of a funnel at that frat party, wearing togas. My motto is when in doubt, hit delete. But remember, once things enter cyberspace, it really never leaves it. So going forward, do not post anything online that you do not want to see on the front page of the Wall Street Journal.
After that task, search your name in various search engines and look to address any negative items that you can. While I'm not suggesting you should represent yourself as PollyAnn on social media, because people won't believe that either, it is however important that you stress the positives and minimize the negatives. Most people want to hire the boy or girl next-door or someone that reminds them of themselves or someone they wish they were at your age.

Step four -Write a blog. Find something that you are interested in and write about it. It does not need to be a work of art, another War and Peace, but it should be a short and pithy posting that informs the reader about something that you know, but they may not know. This is your chance to express some personality, so that potential employers can see another side of the multidimensional you. A word of warning, play it safe. Avoid controversial subjects in your blog in order to limit the chance of offending potential employers. Unless it is important to your career, do not touch on hot subjects such as politics, religion...

Writing a blog does several things, it is a source of information for your connections, it establishes you as a knowledgeable well-rounded person, and it keeps you in the forefront of people's minds. Do not underestimate the power of a short one-page article.

In addition to the external benefits, writing a blog keeps you interested in current events, develops your writing skills, and provides a level of discipline, assuming that you committed to writing your blog several days per week (which is highly recommended). Now that you wrote your blog, post it anywhere you can. Post it on your website, your social media activity pages i.e. LinkedIn, Facebook, twitter and post it to as many blogs as you can find.

The fifth and final step discussed in this series is participation. Now that you have a brand, an outlet for your brand i.e. your website and the blog, you need to get as many people as possible to see you and your work. There are many ways of accomplishing this, one of the easiest ways is commenting on other people's blogs, most likely they will return the favor. Moreover, it is yet another way to get your name out in social media. It is important however to keep your comments short, to the point, and non-confrontational especially if you have a different point of view. While you may add additional facts to support your point of view, it is likely better not to comment on that particular post. There are always other ones.

Now that you have your brand defined, your logo and personal statement developed and an active website you have completed the first steps in creating a brand. Going forward, think of everything you do as influencing your brand.

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Personal Branding Guru, William Arruda

Personal Branding Guru, William Arruda, the founder of Reach Personal Branding delivering a keynote speech ' Personal Branding for Project Managers' in Calgary.

Positive Personal Brand - The Power of Visible Authenticity

Being authentic in the workplace is recognised as key to delivering great results especially where collaboration with others is imperative. Positive personal brand is about knowing who we are and making this accessible to others in everything we are, everything we say and everything we do.

In this article, we will explore the similarities between corporate branding and personal branding and provide practical tips to work out how we add value by being ourselves and how this can be communicated to others in a consistent way.

Brand in the marketplace

We tend to think of brand in connection with the marketplace. What are the big brands we immediately think of? Perhaps its MacDonalds, Coca Cola, Rolls Royce, Virgin. These organisations have spent a great deal of time and money working out who they are, what they stand for, what they want to be famous for and how best to portray that in the marketplace.

Brand magnetism

When organisations get it right, their brand becomes compelling. We may sense in them some personal alignment with our own situation and may feel drawn to the brand to boost our own sense of self. In a similar way, notice how "brands of a feather hang out together". Do you recognise any of the following connections: MacDonalds and Pepsi and Disney; Rolls Royce and Mayfair Hotels; Carlsberg and football; Cobra beer and the Raj Put restaurant; Harry Ramsdens, Yorkshire Tea and Bettys; Mzuzu Coffee and Lake Malawi?

Richard Richardson and John Barnes touch on the power of brand magnetism (although they don't call it that) in their book Marketing Judo (November 2002). They show how a small brand can gain market credibility by being associated with bigger brands or even occasions. In the UK, the Harry Ramsdens fish and chips chain launched their Blackpool restaurant on the back of the Labour Party Conference and got many times more press coverage as a result. Modern train companies in the UK entice their customers with the aroma of their favourite coffee, flaunt the brand and sometimes even replicate the feel of the coffee bar in their buffet car.

Back to you and me

What has all this got to do with us? Well the truth is, "Everything!"

Who or what we associate with and how we look, act and communicate is all part of our personal brand. In 2008, I spoke on the power of a Positive Personal Brand at the National Internal Auditors Conference in the UK. Imagine being a manager in a bank and the auditor turns up dressed like a farmer, talking like a stand-up comic, carrying a tatty haversack and riding a Harley. OK, some of us would be pleasantly surprised and well-entertained. But I suspect at least a handful of clients would be suspicious to say the least.

So who are we?

We are unique and complex creatures set in the context of our world with a history of experiences and a myriad of personal characteristics and attributes. We have values, beliefs, commitments, talents, passions and ambitions. The more we understand what these are about, the more we will feel drawn to a better future for ourselves and those around us. To put it another way, it is from this understanding that we derive our sense of purpose.

As we take stock of who we are we can also begin to question whether we are accurately reflecting this in a tangible, positive and visible way. In other words we would be wise to be conscious about we how communicate through behaviours, actions, words, possessions and image. How we are perceived by others will determine the impact we have on them, how they respond and therefore our capacity to add value. That's the power of a positive personal brand.

So, I guess that's enough background. Let's explore.

Values

A value is something we feel strongly about, something that is important to us. Businesses use corporate values in order to signpost the behaviours that will be most helpful in delivering their objectives.

What values are important to you?

Understanding our values is a key part of understanding who we are. However, we need to remember that the power of a positive personal brand is about making who we are visible to others. One of the ways to translate values (which are essentially invisible to others) is to make them visible. Values become visible when they are lived out in the form of behaviours. So let's build on that.

Behaviours
If behaviours are the visible manifestation of our values, we should take stock again.

For each of the values you listed above, begin to identify a handful of behaviours to describe what others would see you doing when you are putting the value into practice.

Knowing the behaviours we will demonstrate to others is the first practical step we can take to developing a visible and positive personal brand. Let's do a bit more stocktaking on the invisible.

Beliefs
Whether we formally take stock or not, we also all carry a set of personal beliefs about the way the world or universe works. These can be simple personal rules or sayings we buy into or something we find particularly profound about our faith or culture.

Values and beliefs are closely linked phenomena. In fact we could say they are related. In getting our heads around the difference between values and beliefs we could consider values as the aspects of life that we hold dear and precious. For me, words like service and adventure fall into this category and are two personal values I hold particularly dear. I also know what these words (as labels) mean to me and the way they play out in what I do (descriptions of behaviours). Beliefs are different. These are the big rules that we consider to be profound or important about how the world operates.

I had a conversation with my son recently regarding his work as a salesman. He stated that one of his "big beliefs" is "what goes around comes around". It is very clear that this profoundly affects what he does. For me I have a set of beliefs that describe where I think we all come from, what our lives are about and what happens when we're through. They are very personal and spiritual and the more I understand them, the more they affect what I do with my life.

Take this opportunity to make a note of your key beliefs.

Our beliefs will shine through in the way we live our lives. Like values they may manifest as behaviours. They are likely to determine how we respond to situations verbally or physically. They may even be reflected in our possessions or dress sense. We may choose to keep the details of our beliefs invisible or subtle: this is a matter of personal choice. And in order to choose wisely it helps to think about it.

How do your beliefs become visible to others?

Commitments
Often neglected in the "equation of ambition" are our commitments. Everyone has them and the key here is honesty and thought. There is no point taking on challenges or responsibilities, however well-intentioned, in one aspect of our life if they conflict with our commitments in another aspect. If we fail to take our commitments into account in our lives we are likely to make unwise choices, especially regarding career and work.

For example, I feel a strong commitment to my family and whilst I have a love of travel and a desire to serve in places like Africa which are a long way from home, I have to balance these desires with my commitment to my wife, five children and others in my family. I am also committed to supporting the Open Arms Infant Home in Malawi and to my business in the UK. Lots of things to balance and I actually have fun in the process.

Name your top commitments and describe how you live these out

Talents
My top personal passion is talent. Clearly it isn't our only defining attribute and our brand is more than just how we show our talent. But talent is uniquely important in the world of work. It is through the best use of our talent that we add the most value in the work we do. That is why I have dedicated my life to the topic I call "talent liberation". I have summed up the talent liberation philosophy in the following statement (which for me is also a key belief).

Organisations reach prime performance when they recognise, value, develop and use the unique talents of all their people in the delivery of their objectives..

For now let's briefly consider talents in the context of positive personal brand. Like most of the attributes we are taking stock of, we can't see talent if it isn't used. And we won't be using it well unless we recognise, value and develop it.

Let's begin a talent liberation journey with the following questions:

What are your top talents? (recognise)

How do your talents add value? (value)

For example, does your leadership translate into team productivity; does your relationship building grow sales; or your craftsmanship produce beautiful objects that people will buy?

What are you doing to develop your talents further? (develop)

How could you use your talents more wisely - to add greater value to others, your employer or to you and your family? (use)

In terms of branding, how much of your talent is visible to others or reflected in what they might see or hear?

Passions
Even though our passions are essentially invisible, if we are consciously in touch with them we can provide very clear signposts to others. They will hear our enthusiasm, see the books we read, note the meetings we attend. The more in touch we are with our passions and how they become manifest in our lives the more people will understand what we're about and work with us to make "the right things" happen.

What are you passionate about?

And how does it show?

Ambitions
Not everyone would describe themselves as "ambitious". The word conjures up thoughts of goals, targets and plans. However, as we come to understand who we are and the needs of those around us, it is natural that we will feel drawn to make things happen for ourselves and others. The way we define this will depend largely on our values, beliefs and personal preferences.

Again, our ambitions are invisible but the things we do and say and the way we look will all provide clues. And these clues will affect the responses of others and consequently our ability to add value.

How would you articulate your ambitions?

Would they be goals, targets, ambitions, intentions, or a vision?

Under your chosen label, make a note of the things you want to accomplish.

How would others know what your ambitions are?

Putting it all together

We've really only just begun. In the exercises above, we've explored our values, beliefs, commitments, talents, passions and ambitions. We've touched on ways we might make these visible to others. I hope this journey has proved useful and as a final stock-take, I encourage you to consider the following:

Reflecting on your answers to the questions posed in this paper, what else can you do to make who you are visible and meaningful to others?

Consider the following:

Your language

Your behaviours

Your artefacts (possessions and items you place around you)

Your image

What actions do you need to take in the coming week?

Developing a positive personal brand may seem a bit like blowing our own trumpet and that's not something most of us feel naturally inclined to do. However, by taking action to make who we really are clearer to those around us, we are simply being straight forward and authentic. We are presenting our true selves in a manner that allows others to easily understand what we have to offer and to tap into that in an efficient way.

Clive Wilson is passionate about human talent, authenticity and consciousness. From his home in Harrogate on the edge of the Yorkshire Dales in England, he reflects, writes, creates and speaks on these subjects anywhere in the world. He invites those who can relate to his material to join him at the Sacred Space community on http://sacred-space.ning.com/ where the vision is one of people across the world meeting in nature to share deep wisdom in friendship and peace.

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Seth Godin on Personal Branding

The business gadfly Seth Godin talks about connecting with customers for 'Behind the Brand' with Bryan Elliott.

LAW OF ATTRACTION ,1000′S OF SUBLIMINAL SUCCESS MESSAGES, MIND MOVIE

LAW OF ATTRACTION | MIND MOVIE | 1000'S OF SUBLIMINAL SUCCESS MESSAGES
Attract MONEY, RELATIONSHIPS,CASH,HEALTH, CARS,HOUSES etc. with this "Mind Movie" THOUSANDS of subliminal affirmations, images and suggestions flash across the screen getting into your SUBCONSCIOUS MIND as you watch this movie! Then the Law of Attraction produces it for you in your life as if on Autopilot! WATCH IT OVER AND OVER FOR QUICKER RESULTS!

3 Simple Ways to Superboost Your Subliminal Power For Success

Success in life can be very far from you when you don't take any step in empowering your mind to go for it. Success actually begins and ends with the mind. The healthier your mind is, the brighter your chances of success becomes. You can always activate your subliminal power and attain any level of success you want in life. You can super boost this great power in your mind when you discover the right steps to take. Discussed below are 3 simple ways you can engage.

1. Listen to Subliminal Messages Daily Boosting your subliminal power is never a wish. You really need to work it out. One of the simplest ways to engage is to listen to quality subliminal messages often. You have to take your time to locate quality subliminal resources that can help you in the process. They showcase in forms of CDs, MP3s, DVDs and tapes. They are very much available online. There are lots of websites dealing on subliminal technology. If you have a good internet connection and a nice computer, you can even download some of the subliminal resources directly from the websites. When you succeed in getting them, do well to map out special time daily to listen to them. As you go about hearing such messages daily, your subconscious mind is empowered to go for success.

2. Engage in Daily Meditation To boost your Subliminal Power, you need to engage in daily meditation. This helps you to contemplate and assimilate what you learn from subliminal resources. It's important you map out special period for your meditation. It's often better to engage in that during the wee hours of the day. At such early hours, the environment is always very quiet. You can easily get your mind enhanced when you meditate on subliminal messages which you have been hearing.

3. Use Positive Affirmations Daily Boosting your Subliminal Power will never be complete until you learn to use positive affirmations on daily basis. In most cases, quality subliminal resources do contain all kinds of positive affirmations. You have to listen to them and also hear them regularly. Apart from that, you are expected to speak out the affirmations. You need to use them to talk to yourself. They have a way of empowering and re-conditioning your subconscious without your conscious awareness. You can even deal with several issues in your life when you take time to use positive affirmation. They have a way of enforcing your mind to go after success even when you least expect to see better results. In all, the above 3 simple ways will always help you to super boost your subliminal power for success.

You have to master them and use them on daily basis. You also need to eat properly, exercise properly and sleep well. You're sure to attain resounding success in every area of your life when you engage in these steps discussed. You don't need to be discouraged when results are not coming as you expected. The impact of subliminal resources are not usually felt at the beginning. You have to keep on using them on daily basis in order to force the results to show.

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Joshua Foer on how he greatly improved his memory.

Joshua Foer is the author of "Moonwalking with Einstein", in which he chronicles how he was able to improve his memory enough to win the U.S. Memory Championship and he reveals the techniques he used to improve it.

Simple Memory Improvement Tips Can Improve Your Life

How many times have you been driving home and suddenly had that sinking feeling that you've forgotten something. You walk in the door and you husband or wife greets you loveingly and hands you your anniversary present.

It's at that point that you realise another year has gone by and you have totally fogotten your anniversary again. If you have had this experience before then it's time for you to look at making an improvement to your memory.

By following a few easy memory improvement tips it will be easy for you to make a dramatic improvement to your memory and never have to worry again about forgetting things, which is the first - and probably the main - reason why simple memory improvement tips can improve your life.

Now, there are several different categories for your memory. These include remembering dates and events, names and faces, factual information and lists. In each of these areas there are different memory improvement tips and tools that you can use for your memory improvement.

If your one of these people that can never remember someones name there are several techniques that you can use. The most commonly used one by people around the world is to associate a rhyme with their name. For example, if your out at a party and get introduced to a new person named Tony. The first thing you want to do is make sure you repeat their name once or twice in conversation. "Hi Tony, pleased to meet you." This will help to confirm their name in your short term memory.

To help lock this name into your long term memory the next thing you do is associate it with a rhyme of some sort. e.g. Tony the pony. Now every time you see that person for the rest of the night repeat to yourself in your mind "tony the pony" and start to imagine that person as a pony. Once you've got this locked into your mind it's vertually impossible to forget. Some memory improvement tips really are that simple.

The other great thing to do is try to match your rhyme to a common feature about their appearance. By doing this it will help to recognize them in the future as well.

Another common memory improvement tip, when it comes to lists, is to make a word a saying/sentence or just remember the first letters of the list. By doing this it will help to jog your memory to exactly what was on the list. For example if you had to go to the shop and remember 5 items you could do it like follows.

Lollies

Bread

Chocolate

Apples

Ketchup

Have a look at your list and in this case we can re-arrange it to be.

B read

L ollies

A pples

C hocolate

K etchup

Now from the first letters in this case it spells Black. Now all you have to do is remember Black and when you get to the supermarket it will help you to know there were 5 things and they started with B L A C K

Once you learn all these easy little memory improvement techniques you'll be able to have a fantastic memory in virtually no time at all. So there you have it, the most important reasons why simple memory improvement tips can improve your life.

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I also blogging at http://www.personaldevelopment4you.com To go there please click the link below

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7 Things You Should Know to Make a Great Impression

http://persdevmadeeasy.com Get to know these seven tips you should be aware of to make a Superb First Impression

Assertiveness in 7 minutes - by Chris Croft

An overview of the main points of assertiveness, by Chris Croft, management trainer. If you do what he tells you on this video it will change your life.

How to help build, boost, and develop self-confidence and assertiveness

Building self-confidence and assertiveness is probably a lot easier than you think. 'Non-assertive' people (in other words 'normal people') do not generally want to transform into being excessively dominant people. When most people talk about wanting to be more assertive, what they usually really mean is:

• 'How can I become more able to resist the pressure and dominance of excessively dominant people?'
• 'How can I stand up to bullies (or one bully in particular)?'
• And also, 'How can I exert a little more control in situations that are important to me?'

Pure assertiveness - dominance for the sake of being dominant - is not a natural behaviour for most people. Most people are not naturally assertive. Most people tend to be passive by nature. The assertive behaviour of highly dominant people tends to be driven by their personality (and often some insecurity). It is not something that has been 'trained'.

For anyone seeking to increase their own assertiveness it is helpful to understand the typical personality and motivation of excessively dominant people, who incidentally cause the most worry to non-assertive people.

It's helpful also at this point to explain the difference between leadership with dominance: Good leadership is inclusive, developmental, and a force for what is right. Good leadership does not 'dominate' non-assertive people, it includes them and involves them. Dominance as a management style is not good in any circumstances. It is based on short-term rewards and results, mostly for the benefit of the dominant, and it fails completely to make effective use of team-members' abilities and potential.

The fact is that most excessively dominant people are usually bullies. Bullies are deep-down very insecure people. They dominate because they are too insecure to allow other people to have responsibility and influence, and this behaviour is generally conditioned from childhood for one reason or another. The dominant bullying behaviour is effectively reinforced by the response given by 'secure' and 'non-assertive' people to bullying. The bully gets his or her own way. The bullying dominant behaviour is rewarded, and so it persists.

Dominant, bullying people, usually from a very young age, become positively conditioned to bullying behaviour, because in their own terms it works. Their own terms are generally concerned with satisfying their ego and selfish drives to get their own way, to control, to achieve status (often implanted by insecure ambitious parents), to manipulate, make decisions, build empires, to collect material signs of achievement, monetary wealth, and particularly to establish protective mechanisms, such as 'yes-men' followers ('body-guards'), immunity from challenge and interference, scrutiny, judgement, etc. Early childhood experiences play an important part in creating bullies. Bullies are victims as well as aggressors. And although it's a tough challenge for anyone on the receiving end of their behaviour they actually deserve sympathy.

N.B. Sympathy is not proposed here to be a sole or significant tactic in countering bullying. Rather, sympathy is advocated as a more constructive, stronger, alternative feeling to being fearful or intimidated.

Non-assertive people do not normally actually aspire to being excessively dominant people, and they certainly don't normally want to become bullies. When most people talk about wanting to be more assertive, what they really mean is 'I'd like to be more able to resist the pressure and dominance of excessively dominant people.' Doing this is not really so hard, and using simple techniques it can even be quite enjoyable and fulfilling.

Importantly, the non-assertive person should understand where they really are - a true starting point: non-assertive behaviour is a sign of strength usually, not weakness, and often it is the most appropriate behaviour for most situations - don't be fooled into thinking that you always have to be more assertive.

Understand where you want to be: what level of assertiveness do you want? Probably to defend yourself, and to control your own choices and destiny (which are relatively easy using the techniques below), not to control others.

For people who are not naturally assertive, it is possible to achieve a perfectly suitable level of assertiveness through certain simple methods and techniques, rather than trying to adopt a generally more assertive personal style (which could be counter-productive and stressful, because it would not be natural). People seeking to be more assertive can dramatically increase their effective influence and strength by using just one or two of these four behaviours prior to, or when confronted by a more dominant character or influence, or prior to and when dealing with a situation in which they would like to exert more control. Here are some simple techniques and methods for developing self-confidence and more assertive behaviour.

assertiveness and self-confidence methods and techniques

1. Know the facts relating to the situation and have the details to hand.
2. Be ready for - anticipate - other people's behaviour and prepare your responses.
3. Prepare and use good open questions.
4. Re-condition and practice your own new reactions to aggression (posters can help you think and become how you want to be - display positive writings where you will read them often - it's a proven successful technique).
5. Have faith that your own abilities and style will ultimately work if you let them.
6. Feel sympathy for bullies - they actually need it.
7. Read inspirational things that reinforce your faith in proper values and all the good things in your own natural style and self, for example, Ruiz's The Four Agreements, Kipling's If, Desiderata, Cherie Carter-Scott's 'rules of life',Wimbrow's The Guy In The Glass, etc.

know the facts and have them to hand

Ensure you know all the facts in advance - do some research, and have it on hand ready to produce (and give out copies if necessary). Bullies usually fail to prepare their facts; they dominate through bluster, force and reputation. If you know and can produce facts to support or defend your position it is unlikely that the aggressor will have anything prepared in response. When you know that a situation is going to arise, over which you'd like to have some influence, prepare your facts, do your research, do the sums, get the facts and figures, solicit opinion and views, be able to quote sources; then you will be able to make a firm case, and also dramatically improve your reputation for being someone who is organised and firm.

anticipate other people's behaviour and prepare your responses

Anticipate other people's behaviour and prepare your own responses. Role-play in your mind how things are likely to happen. Prepare your responses according to the different scenarios that you think could unfold. Prepare other people to support and defend you. Being well prepared will increase your self-confidence and enable you to be assertive about what's important to you.

prepare and use good open questions

Prepare and use good questions to expose flaws in other people's arguments. Asking good questions is the most reliable way of gaining the initiative, and taking the wind out of someone's sails, in any situation. Questions that bullies dislike most are deep, constructive, incisive and probing, especially if the question exposes a lack of thought, preparation, consideration, consultation on their part. For example:

• 'What is your evidence (for what you have said or claimed)?'
• 'Who have you consulted about this?'
• 'How did you go about looking for alternative solutions?'
• 'How have you measured (whatever you say is a problem)?'
• 'How will you measure the true effectiveness of your solution if you implement it?'
• 'What can you say about different solutions that have worked in other situations?'

And don't be fobbed off. Stick to your guns. If the question is avoided or ignored return to it, or re-phrase it (which you can prepare as well).

re-condition and practice your own new reactions to aggression

Re-conditioning your own reaction to dominant people, particularly building your own 'triggered reactions', giving yourself 'thinking time' to prevent yourself being bulldozed, and 'making like a brick wall' in the face of someone else's attempt to dominate you without justification. Try visualising yourself behaving in a firmer manner, saying firmer things, asking firm clear, probing questions, and presenting well-prepared facts and evidence. Practice in your mind saying 'Hold on a minute - I need to consider what you have just said.' Also practice saying 'I'm not sure about that. It's too important to make a snap decision now.' Also 'I can't agree to that at such short notice. Tell me when you really need to know, and I'll get back to you.' There are other ways to help resist bulldozing and bullying. Practice and condition new reactions in yourself to resist, rather than cave in, for fear that someone might shout at you or have a tantrum. If you are worried about your response to being shouted at then practice being shouted at until you realise it really doesn't hurt - it just makes the person doing the shouting look daft. Practice with your most scary friend shouting right in your face for you to 'do as you are told', time after time, and in between each time say calmly (and believe it because it's true) 'You don't frighten me.' Practice it until you can control your response to being shouted at.

have faith that your own abilities will ultimately work if you use them

Non-assertive people have different styles and methods compared to dominant, aggressive people and bullies. Non-assertive people are often extremely strong in areas of process, detail, dependability, reliability, finishing things (that others have started), checking, monitoring, communicating, interpreting and understanding, and working cooperatively with others. These capabilities all have the potential to undo a bully who has no proper justification. Find out what your strengths and style are and use them to defend and support your position. The biggest tantrum is no match for a well organised defence.

feel sympathy rather than fear towards bullies

Re-discover the belief that non-assertive behaviour is actually okay - it's the bullies who are the ones with the problems. Feeling sympathy for someone who threatens you - thereby resisting succumbing to fearful or intimidated feelings - can help to move you psychologically into the ascendancy, or at least to a position where you can see weaknesses in the bully.

Aggressors and bullies were commonly children who were not loved, or children forced to live out the aspirations of their parents. In many ways all bullies are still children, and as far as your situation permits, seeing them as children can help you find greater strength and resistance. Transactional Analysis theory, and especially the modern TA concepts, are helpful for some people in understanding how this sort of childhood emotional damage affects people, and how specific communications can be planned and used in response to excessive dominance, bullying, temper tantrums, and other threatening behaviours.

N.B. The point above about feeling sympathy for bullies should not be seen as approval or justification for bullying. Neither is sympathy proposed here to be a sole or significant tactic in countering bullying. Rather, sympathy is advocated as a more constructive, stronger, alternative feeling to being fearful or intimidated. People responsible for bullying are the bullies, not the victims. So if you are a bully: get some feedback, get some help, and grow up.

Several tactics are explained above to tackle bullying head-on, as is often very necessary. Additionally in most western world countries, and many others besides, there are now serious laws and processes to protect people from bullying, and these protections should be invoked whenever bullying becomes a problem.

Picture is courtesy of FreeDIgitalPhotos.net

http://www.businessballs.com/self-confidence-assertiveness.htm

8 Ways to Improve Your Attitude

A positive attitude make success easy; a negative one makes success pointless.

If you truly want to be successful, your number one task should be to create and maintain a positive attitude. When you've got an attitude of optimism, expectancy and enthusiasm, opportunities grow, and problems shrink.

If you're a leader, a positive attitude draws people to your side and encourages them to do their best work. A leader with a negative attitude, however, can only compel others to take action through fear.

More importantly, what would be point of being successful if you're always feeling lousy?  With that in mind, here's how to ensure your attitude stays upbeat:

1. Always act with a purpose.

Before you take any action, decide how it will serve your greater goals.  If the connection is weak or non-existent, take that action off your to-do list. Aimless activity wastes time and energy.

2. Stretch yourself past your limits every day.

Doing the same-old, same-old is depressing, even if your same-old has been successful in the past. Success is like athletics; if you don't stretch yourself every day, you gradually become slow and brittle.

3. Take action without expecting results.

While you naturally must make decisions and take action based upon the results you'd like to achieve, it's a big mistake to expect those results and then be disappointed when you don't get them.  Take your best shot but don't obsess about the target.

4. Use setbacks to improve your skills.

Rather than feeling bad if you fail or get rejected, look back at your actions and see what you can do (if anything) to improve your performances.  Remember: the results you receiveare the signposts for the results you want to achieve.

5. Seek out those who share your positive attitude.

It's a scientific fact your brain automatically imitates the behaviors of the people around you.  (It's because of something called a mirror neuron).  Therefore, you should surround yourself with positive thinkers and shun those who are excessively negative.

6. Don't take yourself so seriously.

If you want to be happier and make those around you feel more comfortable, cultivate the ability to laugh at yourself.  If you don't (or can't) laugh at yourself, I guarantee you that the people you work with are laughing behind your back!

7. Forgive the limitations of others.

High standards are important, but humans are, well, human. It's crazy to make yourself miserable because other people can't do a job as well as you think you could, or when people don't share your vision with the same passion that you feel.

8. Say "thank you" more frequently.

Achieving an "attitude of gratitude" requires more than simply being aware of what's wonderful in your life.  You must, and should, thank other people for their gifts to you, even if that gift is something as simple as a smile.

iMAGE: ANDY PETERS/FLICKR

http://www.inc.com/geoffrey-james/8-ways-to-improve-your-attitude.html

Zig Ziglar - Attitude Makes All The Difference

Zig Ziglar teaches people all over the world the fundamentals of sales and success. Here he tells a story of a woman with a negative attitude who hated her job, shifted her attitude and changed her life.

Personality Doesn't Determine Leadership Ability

Introvert? Extrovert? Doesn't matter. The good news is, neither personality type really matters when it comes to managing people.

I've learned a lot about leadership lately. Back in my heyday as a middle manager in corporate America, and before that as a manager for a small start-up, I found my introverted personality worked against me most of the time.

Back then, I'd rather sit and read a book in a coffeeshop than kick back with employees after work. I shunned the spotlight and chose introspection instead.

Introversion as the Enemy

I once had a pivotal meeting with an employee. She was a project manager on my team (I had somehow worked up to a director position). Long story short: she told me I was the worst boss ever and she hated my guts. She asked how I ever got into this role. She wanted to quit, but I talked her off the ledge--mostly by apologizing to her.

At the time, I viewed this exchange as mostly my fault. I was just not social enough; I didn't check in with her often enough to see how things were going. Sure, I had budgets to manage and meetings to attend. But my introverted personality got the best of me.

I'm not alone. After writing my story about carving out a management career as an introvert, I received dozens and dozens of supportive messages. It was in influx of people who have felt my pain. In most cases, the message was--"I'm also an introvert who struggles with managing people."

The good news is, your personality may not dictate how well you manage people as much as you think. Both extroverts and introverts can do it. The skills can be learned, adjusted, tweaked, and augmented.

A Learned Skill

This study is a useful tool for understanding how your specific personality can help you lead in a small business, and that leadership is a skill, not a talent. To get a summary, I spoke with Jim Kouzes, the co-author of the report. Kouzes and Barry Posner wrote "The Leadership Challenge" book and conduct the Leadership Practices Inventory.

"Leadership is a set of skills and abilities that are learnable by anyone who has the desire to improve and the willingness to practice," Kouzes says. "That's true for extroverts and introverts alike. They each have particular preferences for how they energize themselves, take in information, make decisions, and organize themselves, but both are equally capable of providing exemplary leadership."

Kouzes told me every personality type has to lead by example. This hit home for me: I used to think I had to be big and blustery with team members when talking about my vision. In reality, I could have accomplished the same goal in my own way. I didn't need to try and be animated or social--I needed to improve my skills. The reason that employee thought I was a terrible boss was mostly due to my lack of communication, which didn't have to be blustery at all--it just had to be consistent.

"Extroverts tend to express their passion about principles with great vigor, while introverts would be more likely to engage in quiet conversation about expectations," explained Kouzes. For me, that would have meant more in-person mentoring with employees, learning about their needs and desires--something I've become very good at subsequently as a journalist over the past 12 years interviewing people.

Interestingly, I was exceptionally good at "visioneering" in the workplace. When I started in one corporate job with three people, it grew to almost 50 in only five years. We took on projects in every part of the organization, and I was good at selling our services. Many of these meetings involved one-on-ones with higher-level executives.

Kouzes says any personality type can learn the skill of communicating vision.

"Extroverts tend to demonstrate this practice by brainstorming opportunities or directly appealing to the desires of others," he says. "Introverts, on the other hand, are more inclined to imagine what could be in their minds or exchanging ideas in one-on-one conversations. Extroverts have to work a bit harder at giving space to others to share their hopes, dreams and aspirations, while introverts are very mindful of the need to be inclusive," he says.

It's still a journey for me.

What's your story? Post in the comments if you've been able to figure out your own successes and failures, and how your personality type hindered or helped.

IMAGE: GETTY 

http://www.inc.com/john-brandon/introvert-extrovert-personality-type-leadership.html