While for many, self-esteem issues are a transitional part
of growing into an adult and finding a place in the world, scientific research
studies show that people with continued low self-esteem are also more likely to
suffer from depression, anxiety, poor physical health, and even a lower income
later on in life.
Those with long lasting issues of low self-esteem know only
too well that it is not something you grow out of, but something that sits in
the subconscious mind and continues to affect every part of life for years. How
then can we enhance self esteem.
Here are five ways that you can do just that.
1. Model Confident People
Noticing what confident people do, how they speak, the ways
they behave, can provide vital clues to finding self-esteem inside yourself.
Who is the most confident person you can think of? When you have them firmly in
your mind, ask yourself these questions: how do they hold their shoulders? How
do they stand? How do they walk? What clothes do they wear? How do they behave
when with other people? What sort of things do you imagine they say about
themselves? And if they were in your situation, what would they do?
This questioning goes far beyond "fake it till you make
it" - it links us into the answers already inside us. Once you have a list
of what that confident person would do, go ahead and model this behaviour. Try
it on for a few hours, a day, even a few days. Notice how everything you do,
and the events around you, begin to change on their own.
2. Advertise Yourself
When you have to convince someone else about your strengths,
it can have a fantastic effect on your self-esteem. Sitting down and really
thinking about all your skills, gifts and talents is a wonderful reminder of
all the good things about being you. Try writing an advertisement selling
yourself as the perfect partner, house mate, friend, etc, with a full
description of why anyone would be lucky to have you around. Don't be afraid to
blow your own trumpet. This isn't an exercise in modesty, but in self-esteem.
3. Work On Your Resume
Resumes are all about convincing someone to hire your time
and your expertise. Giving your resume a regular update can also give your
self-esteem a great boost. Alternatively, update your Facebook profile. Strange
as it sounds, there is now research from Cornell University in New York to prove
that people who view their Facebook profiles more regularly have better
self-esteem. You get to go back and view your clever status updates, your
significant dates and events, and photos of good times.
4. Say Positive Things About Yourself
Saying positive things about yourself, to yourself or
others, is important. What we say about ourselves reveals a lot about our level
of self-esteem. When we rehearse only what we do wrong, or don't like about
ourselves, our brain builds neural pathways for these conversations, till
eventually negative self-talk is practically automatic.
If you are not used to talking about yourself in a positive
way, you will simply have to learn how. Keep practicing, choose a few nice
things to say or think about yourself and use them as a mantra every day. It
can be something you are proud of about yourself, or positive things you
remember others saying about you in the past.
The more you repeat this, the easier the behaviour will
become as your nervous system will build more neural connections to this
positive self-talk, and less to the negative self-talk.
5. Is It You, Or Is It Them?
The people who surround us, at home, at school, at work, or
in social settings, can have a huge impact on our self-esteem. Either they will
support us, making us feel better about ourselves, or their negativity will
bring us down emotionally. This may not be intentional. Some people just seem
to notice what's wrong more than on what's right.
If you find there are people in your life who make you feel
bad about yourself, you need to make a decision. Can you counteract the effect
they are having with you? Or do you need to do some prunning?
Do you really need to be around people who make you feel bad
about yourself? Choose to associate with positive people that make you feel
alive, happy, and optimistic about life.
Deciding to spend less time with people isn't about making
anyone else 'wrong' or 'bad' -- it has to do with making clear decisions about
how you want to feel, and asserting your right to feel good instead of bad.
Use these strategies on a regular basis and you really will
boost your self-esteem -- and increase your self-confidence.
