Going through the papers of my recently deceased father, I ran across a typewritten piece titled, “Upon Your College Graduation.” It was dated June 1979 and was written for me.
“A couple of years ago you asked if I could offer any advice about what it took for a man to become successful,” it began. He reflected on the matter and composed some thoughts.
Here are some highlights.
Right and wrong
Dad quoted Kentucky author Janice Holt Giles from her 1950 novel “The Enduring Hills,” who he said wrote in part: “In a world where everything has become blurred ... wrong is still wrong ... (and) right is right, eternally, everlastingly and unquestionably right.”
Criticism
“You’ll have critics in your professional life and among your friends and relatives until six of your strong friends come to carry your casket to that final flowered hillside somewhere out yonder,” Dad wrote. “So learn to accept and live with it the best you can. It’s a very natural part of life, and you can become strong because of it or perish if unable to understand it.”
Loyalty
Dad quoted from a once-famous inspirational essay that Elbert Hubbard wrote in 1899:
“If you work for a man, in Heaven’s name work for him. If he pays wages that supply you your bread and butter, work for him, speak well of him, think well of him and stand by him, and stand by the institution he represents ... If put to the pinch, an ounce of loyalty is worth a pound of cleverness. If you must vilify, condemn and eternally disparage, why, resign your position, and when you are outside, damn to your heart’s content. But, I pray you, so long as you are a part of an institution, do not condemn it. Not that you will injure the institution — not that — but when you disparage the concern of which you are a part, you disparage yourself.”
What workers want
“Money and benefits? Wrong! Pensions and holidays? No! They all want desperately to work for an organization that listens to them. They cry out for recognition ... They want a chance to move up when they deserve it. They want somebody to adopt their ideas ...”
Handling tension
Dad didn’t believe in using pills or booze or cigarettes to address tension. He said regular exercise and hard, physical work “will provide the same healthy release.”
An old banker once told Dad about a time when he was having problems with a client. The banker sought advice not from another banker, but from a simple laborer who worked for him.
“Mr. Trimble,” the laborer said, “if I were you, I’d think real hard on that problem this evening, sleep on it tonight and when I was up in the morning, I’d try to forget all about it.”
Work hard
“If I picked one single quality as the prime ingredient of success, I’d say hard work is No. 1,” Dad declared.
He was fond of quoting Thomas Edison saying: “Genius is 1 percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration.”
Be sincere
“Don’t use friends, associates, relatives or lovers,” Dad advised. “One always pays a dear price for his insincerity.”
Be your own man
“Committees don’t write great books or paint great masterpieces,” he said. “Individuals do.”
Be enthusiastic
“Be somebody. Raise your voice. Protest. Get mad. Ban pay restrooms at airports,” Dad counseled.
“What a shame it would be in the entire ceremony of life came and went for you, and no one noticed,” he added.
Practice humility
“You won’t need to tell people you’re good. They’ll know as will the boss,” Dad advised. “Take your bows modestly and with humility.”
Learn patience
“Don’t fret. Worry not about much. Forgive easily, for the grudges you carry form black clouds in the mind,” he said.
Keep your word
“The last utterance I heard from my father [was], ‘He was a fellow who always kept his word,’ ” Dad wrote.
In wrapping up, he offered some final tips: “Learn to pray ... Admit you don’t know much ...
“Oh yes, I almost forgot one final idea. Money! I’ve put it at the bottom of priorities for success. It belongs there.”
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