As the Athletic Director and head coach of the Varsity Soccer team at Ryerson University, Dr. Joseph is often asked what skills he is searching for as a recruiter: is it speed? Strength? Agility? In Dr. Joseph's TEDx Talk, he explores self confidence and how it is not just the most important skill in athletics, but in our lives.
Showing posts with label How To Build Self-Confidence. Show all posts
Showing posts with label How To Build Self-Confidence. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 7, 2015
Friday, July 5, 2013
4 Secrets to Help You Boost Self-Confidence
Self confidence-one of the most talked about and sought after phenomenon in the world, yet so confusing and intimidating.
There's something funny about self confidence - The more you get, the more you crave for. Because self confidence is actually, self love in disguise. When you love yourself, you open channels for more love to come into your life and you keep wanting more and more.
Remember though, I am not talking about some sort of self obsession.
I am talking about a healthy love and respect towards self.
Here are 4 secrets to help you boost self confidence.
SECRET ONE
Accept Yourself
Let's say you feel under-confident and really want to do something about it. What do you do?
You fight and try to overcome it with force and willpower. It doesn't work. You have been fighting with your lack of self confidence since you could remember and still, there's no victory in sight.
Reason - You are fighting with it. The more you fight, the more under-confident you become. It's that simple!
Fighting takes your power away!
So what is the solution?
The solution is very simple. (Hold your breath, it's going to sound scary)
ACCEPT YOUR LACK OF SELF CONFIDENCE!
YES! Don't fight. Accept that you are not confident. It's a fact. Accept it. The moment you accept it, it starts disappearing.
It's hard to digest because you have been told so many times that you should not accept your lack of self confidence. You need to fight till you overcome. And you have been following this advice for quite some time now.
Has something happened?
NO!
The people who gave you this advice had no idea about the power of FOCUS.
When you focus on a certain thing, it starts growing.
In this case, you have been focusing on lack of self confidence. You have been saying to yourself repeatedly.
I am not confident.
I need to read books and surf websites to find out how to boost self confidence.
I need to be friends with confident people.
I should keep on trying till I overcome my lack of self confidence.
Remember-You can overcome it but first you need to accept that you are not self-confident.
You need to accept yourself as you are. I know you want to become smarter, sexier, healthier, successful and more confident. (Who doesn't?)
And you think you'll accept yourself once these wishes of yours are granted. Well, here's the bad news - It's not going to happen. You need to accept yourself as you are in order to achieve what you want. Here's a simple technique to help you get started.
Sit or lie down in a relaxed position. Take three deep breaths. Soothing music in the background will help you get relaxed faster. Close your eyes and become totally present- how do you feel at this moment-nervous, under-confident, over-confident, fearful, skeptical.
Whatever it is that you feel, just accept it. Be with it. After a while you'll feel something has changed. If you were feeling low on self confidence before, you'll feel that by accepting it as it is -it has gone. The grip of fear and lack of self confidence has loosened up.
This is the first secret - accept your lack of self confidence.
SECRET TWO
Love Yourself
Ask yourself-do I love myself?
If you do, you are on the right path. But if you don't, then you must learn to love yourself. The more you like and love yourself, the more confident you become.
No one has ever become self confident by hating himself. It's simply not possible that you don't like yourself, don't love yourself and still have a high level of self confidence.
Start loving yourself deeply.
SECRET THREE
Raise Your Self-Worth
Self confidence is directly related to how you see yourself.
Do you see yourself as a person worthy of love, good things, attention, friendship, money, success? If not, then you have (like most people) a self worth issue.
You need to work on this on a daily basis. This is very important. If you feel you don't deserve good things, you'll never get them.
Similarly if you don't feel that you deserve being self confident. You'll never become self confident.
How Can I Raise My Self-Worth?
Change your focus
Focus on your current how level of self confidence and feel thankful for it. You can take help of self hypnosis to implant suggestions in your subconscious mind so you can become more self confident.
Celebrate your achievements
You were required to finish a project by 5 pm and you did that on time. Now what?
Celebrate!
Celebrate?
Yes, remember what we had discussed earlier-whatever you focus on, grows.
Focus on failures and you'll fail more.
Focus on achievements and you'll achieve more.
Celebration does not mean you need to book a 7 star hotel and throw a lavish party. Celebration means treating yourself with something that makes you feel good. It could be a chocolate, an ice-cream, a cup of nice hot coffee or anything else.
Whenever you accomplish something, (even the smallest tasks) say to yourself "I have completed this task successfully and now I'll treat myself to a chocolate" (or ice-cream or toffee or Vodka or whatever it happens to be)
If you can't go out to enjoy an ice-cream (or can't afford it), take some sugar in your hand, say to yourself "I have completed this task on time and I congratulate myself for that) eat sugar and feel good.
The idea is to feel good and focus on 'what you have completed successfully' rather than 'what you have not been able to complete'
Remind yourself daily that you are a worthy person
Repeat several times a day "I am worthy of all the good things in life" or "I am worthy of -----" (fill in the blanks) whatever it is that you feel will be appropriate.
Celebrating your achievements enhances self worth and that's exactly what you are looking for. Raise your self-worth and your self confidence will boost automatically.
SECRET FOUR
Learn As Much As You Can
We are living in an era of information. The more informed and skilled you are, the more confident you'll be. No matter what field you are in, there's information available for everything- be it languages, cookery, management, sports, acting, jobs, coaching, counseling, education or anything else.
There are two major sources of information available - Books and the Internet.Become a member of your local library and start reading books on your subject. Ask other members to guide you which books are the best.
Internet is also a vast ocean of information. There's lots to read from - blogs, websites, free articles, forums, E-books and more.
Learn as much as you can. It'll give you an edge and boost your self confidence
Images are courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Saturday, May 18, 2013
Navy SEAL Training - Self Confidence - Froglogic Motivational Training
Former Navy SEAL, and top motivational speaker David B. Rutherford explains his motivational training program. The Froglogic Concept is a two part program to help forge an individual's Self-Confidence and inspire him or her to live a team orientated lifestyle.
The Fastest Way To Build Self-Confidence
In her video "The Fastest Way to Build Self-Confidence", Dr.Sharon Melnick shares the secrets of her research at Harvard Medical School as to why people get in their own way.
Confidence: 10 Steps to Improving Your Confidence and Self Esteem
In this video professional male image consultant and style expert Aaron Marino outlines 10 simple steps to increase self esteem and confidence. Confidence is key to living a great life and feeling amazing about yourself.
Four Myths About Building Self-Confidence
People who have self-confidence believe in themselves and feel that they are capable of achieving what they want in life, or dealing with any situation that they may have to face. They have an aura of self-confidence and self-assurance, which is apparent to others. People like to spend time with them; they feel comfortable and secure in their presence.
In contrast, there are many people who are reasonably talented, but who lack self-confidence. These people are victims of the several myths that surround self-confidence.
1. One of the foremost myths about self-confidence is that people are born with self-confidence. It is a quality that cannot be acquired. Nothing can be farther from truth. Self-confidence, like other skills, can be built. All that you need is right guidance and a belief in yourself.
2. There are others who blame their low self-confidence to their lack of good looks and poor upbringing. They don't realize that self-confidence has nothing to do with their looks. It is a reflection of one's confidence. The only way they can overcome this myth is by learning to believe in themselves. In fact, talent and self-confidence are not inter-related.
There are scores of talented actors and actresses who do very well in their professions but whose personal lives are torn by lack of self-confidence. It may sound contradictory, but this is how life is.
Talent can be an important component of self-confidence, but it is certainly not a substitute for self-confidence. So, don't worry about lack of talent. Harness the skills that you possess.
3. Another myth is that self-confidence is directly proportional to the recognition and praise that an individual gets in his or her life; the ones who are not so lucky wallow in self-pity. Once again, there is little doubt that recognition and praise make you feel good about yourself, and boost your self-confidence.
But you can't simply depend on the praise lavished by others. You have to work hard to earn that praise, and you can do this only if you are self-confident. The same applies to those who are not successful. They, too, can earn praise if they work hard and win people's respect.
Such people should look at children. Children believe in themselves, and this gives them the self-confidence to try to do things they have never done before, be it learning how to cycle or how to swim.
In fact, no child comes into the world knowing all the skills. But it does not take long to teach children most of the basic skills. Then, why should it be difficult for adults to learn new skills or brave new challenges?
4. Another myth is that only self-confident people can afford to take risks. This again is not true. In fact, self-confident people are more realistic about their capabilities. They know what they can do, and what they can't do. More importantly, they know how to deal with failures.
In contrast, people who lack self-confidence are afraid of failure. This fear prevents them from taking on new tasks. They constantly pine for the approval of others, and when they don't get it they end up losing their self-confidence.
What is apparent is the lack of understanding. People must realize that self-confidence is a state of mind. It is not dependent upon a person's beauty or looks. It flows from a person's self-belief, and this belief can be built.
All that a person needs to do is to debunk myths that self- confidence cannot be acquired or that self-confidence is a byproduct of exceptional knowledge, skills and luck. Once they do so, they will find it easier to acquire the same magnetic powers that self-confident people have.
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